The Perfect Recipe for a Miserable Evening
For this recipe, you will need:
A room big enough to hold 75 people
Approximately 40 Toddlers (be sure to grab a good assortment of 1, 2, 3, and 4-year olds)
A heaping mound of parents
A handful of siblings
Several dozen grandparents
A few cousins
A smidge of aunts and uncles
A touch of neighbor's sister's ex-husband's dentists
Anybody else that I may have missed
68 camcorders
3 dozen cupcakes
2 dozen cookies
4 dozen bottles of water
Note: Be sure to start cooking this recipe at 5:45. You need to make sure that all of the people are good and hungry before you begin.
Preheat the room to 75 degrees. Add in all of the people, making sure to pack them tightly; most should be standing shoulder to shoulder and unable to see anything other than the head in front of them. Place the cupcakes, cookies, and water on a table way at the back of the room so that they are nearly inaccessible. Next, separate the toddlers from the parents. That should trigger some of the toddlers to start screaming and crying. Next, move the toddlers to the front of the room and try to get them to sing a song or two. Stir, then repeat. You'll notice a lot of jostling and shoving amongst the camcorder operators; this is normal. Once the room temperature reaches 80 degrees, take two aspirin because you'll have a massive headache.
The end result:
Credit for this recipe goes to Crazy Daycare Owner Lady
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Reader Comments (18)
Awww, a Christmas program. Believe it or not, you'll miss these first-rate productions someday.
I missed this one, too. All I could see was the back of that guys head.
The first of MANY many MaNy mAnY of these evenings, I'm afraid. I don't think there is any harm in putting a little flask in your purse and taking a nip here & there. I'm sure A was wonderful & gorgeous.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, thank you for making me laugh today. I needed that. I have planned so many of these crazy things, and that really took me back.
So, I'm sure that it was a magical and special time for you and the back of that guy's head! ha ha ha It is the thought that counts - or something like that. Hopefully after it was all said and done - you stopped by dairy queen or some yummy treat spot to reward yourself for not slapping someone silly or passing out in front of everyone else (not that anyone would have noticed with all the crying toddlers!)
you got this right on the button. atleast there shirts looked great. But I probably wont get any credit anyway. You know how she rolls.
Lol. Yep, many more of these to come. Don't you just LOVE the holidays?
Holy heck! You could loose a kid or two in that kind of a crowd.
Last night we went to Clever's sing-a-long. If we didn't have the program paper in front of us we wouldn't have known what most of them were singing.
Now THAT's a perfect post if I ever did see one.
Let the holidaze continue!
I remember Bug's first daycare Christmas program. He did fine until they filed out onto the risers. Then he calmly walked right to the edge of the stage, and with big tears suddenly streaming down his cheeks, screamed at the top of his lungs "MOMMY!!!!! I don't want to do this anymore!!!! COME GET ME NOW!!!"
Oh, it was such fun to wrestle my way through the millions of grandmas and grandpas. Did I mention that I had somehow ended up in the BACK of the room.
On the other hand.... the cookies and brownies were awesome! ;)
Oh, I needed that laugh. We're looking forward to Bubba's church play this weekend (and I say "looking forward" with tongue firmly in cheek!)
We could probably all get together and put together a whole cookbook of these kinds of recipes.
LOL, what a creative way to present this. It is so true with that recipe.
Ahahaha! Great comeback. Who's the smarty now? But don't worry, there's always next year. If you get there earlier you could sit in the front, and be there for a whole hour longer. She's definitely worth that.
We've never been down the daycare road so this is all just hysterically new to me.
Sorry to do this to ya....I tagged you for a Christmas hoopla. Anyone who loves decorating as much as you had to be included! you will have to scroll down a bit to get to it though.
It's that time of year! Come read about Wallace and his encouter with Santa and the Bell of Distruction and Death:
http://www.speckblog.net/2007/12/13/that-good-and-more/
oh, i've been served that, before. i don't care for it. it's nasty.
my favorite part is, the domino effect...one kids cries, soon after, the whole lot of them. music to my ears!
hilarious!
Shell--The shirts were adorable. Miss Independent wouldn't let me take a picture of her wearing it, so I'm going to have to make her wear it again sometime just for the photo. Good job!
Pam--Thanks for the tag! As soon as I get caught up, I'll take a look at it.
As for the rest of you--I'm glad all of you were able to get a chuckle out of our torture. At least something good came of it.
That was a GREAT and well written classic! Thank you, my laugh for the day.