For Maddie
Every parent has felt it.
The fear.
The crippling fear that the worst will happen to a child.
Death.
I sometimes irrationally have pangs of that kind of crippling terror. It's always momentary, and it's usually me being silly. Maybe Alexis actually does the unbelievable and naps for more than an hour. Maybe she stays in her own bed the whole night. Or maybe she catches a cold and I just automatically momentarily jump to worst case scenario.
There was one time when it wasn't such a momentary thing. When Alexis was two months old, she fell ill with a crazy high fever. We battled the illness at home for several days, but when she stopped eating, we had to rush her to the emergency room. We watched in paralyzing fear as a team of nurses and technicians pinned down her tiny body to start an IV. I can still hear her screams when I close my eyes and relive that horrifying moment. We held her tight as she slept 48 hours straight, not even waking to eat. We watched as test after test came back negative, and listened as doctors said it was "just a virus--there's nothing we can do."
The lowest point was when a Resident came in to check on her, listened to her heart for a moment, and said, "Huh. Did you know she has a heart murmur?" We didn't, and we were paralyzed in fear as we waited hours for a more seasoned physician to come in and tell us that it was likely an innocent murmur brought on by the fever. I don't think either Mr. Husband or I breathed all through the tests that were done to confirm that diagnosis.
But, we were lucky. It was nothing. Alexis came home after four days in the hospital and was no worse for the wear.
Heather and Mike of The Spohrs are Multiplying were not so fortunate. They lost their sweet 17-month old Maddie yesterday.
I can't even imagine.
I don't want to.
In lieu of flowers, Heather and Mike have asked for donations to the March of Dimes. We've made a donation, but I want to do more.
If you are in Pittsburgh, please consider joining me in the March for Babies on May 9th along the North Shore in Pittsburgh. You can join the team here.
If you aren't in Pittsburgh, there are teams forming all over the United States. You can visit Sarcastic Mom for a running list.
If you can't walk and you have a few bucks you could spare, please consider making a donation. Every penny helps.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Reader Comments (22)
Count me in.
Losing Quinn was a nightmare. The thought of losing Cooper or Maren - children that have lived and breathed and brought me such joy, is beyond anything I can comprehend. My thoughts will most definitely be with them, and I will definitely be donating to the March of Dimes in the name of Maddie.
I'm in too. Just signed up.
That's terrible.
The website is back up now, I visited it.
Count me in. This is close to my heart, and after seeing 2 children this spring pass, Maddie, and Jacob Snively, it physically hurts.
My fiance Andrew and I are signing up for your team. We aren't parents yet, but we're doing it for Maddie.
Y'all are incredible. Thanks to each and every one of you.
I did not know of her before today, but her story has certainly touched me in the same way it has touched all the other moms. It is beyond sad and it is too much to wrap your head around.
We too have felt crippling fear, when my oldest son was 12 weeks old and had a high fever, he was hospitalized for 2 weeks with an IV, etc... for a bad kidney infection. Again at 6 months. And at 3 years old, he got the worst case of pneumonia there is. Hospitalized for 14 days with an IV, oxygen mask, and needed surgery to drain fluid from his lung. Chest tube, morphine. Nightmare. All from a cold. Bad luck. So the worry is always there. And I pray for these parents tonight. And many others. It's so sad. There really are no words.
I'll donate, too. It's a horror no parent should have to face.
As a new mom, I don't know what I would do if I lost Alex. My heart goes out to anyone that loses a loved one, whether younger or older (although I'm sure it's harder to lose a child than a parent).
I saw your cute blog name somewhere and I came over to say hi! My Grandma lived in Clarion her whole life. Do you know where that is? When we used to visit our cousins in the summer we would go to a Pittsburgh Pirates game. We thought it was a BIG city! I just prayed for your friend that lost a baby. That is very VERY sad.
i am so sorry to hear this.
If I had the money or the strength right now, I would help. But I just lost my own daughter, so I'm in kind of a state, as you can imagine.
D
I've seen so many posts about this sweet girl and her death. Makes me just want to grab CJ and Connor and hug them forever.
How sad...
Hallie
As you know, I will be walking on May 9th in Pgh also. I am already on a team and will be raising money for them as well, in rememberance of their daughter and in honor of their son.
Hopefully I will see you there! This is such a great cause and charity. It is the least we can do to help so many babies and families out there who know the pain all too well.
My cousin and her husband are heavily involved in supporting March of Dimes. They had a premie a few years ago who didn't make it.
it's a very sad story :( Glad you're supporting them
I can't begin to imagine what they are going through. They have my prayers.
Bless You, Friend.
I seriously can't even imagine what they must be going through. They have been weighing very heavily on my mind and in my heart.
We consider ourselves among the most fortunate. We have 4 healthy kids. I'm in.
As a parent, I know the fear but, personally, that's all I know. I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child. I have been thinking about Heather and Mike all week.