Really, There is a Reason for my Madness
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
burghbaby in Premonitions and Paybacks

It has come to my attention that many of you think I am a total freak for starting the Christmas decorating already. First of all, I feel the need to point out that Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK and there are only about 40 days until Christmas. It's not that early. However, I will be the first to admit that I'm starting to get a little edgy about the issue, because I am at least a week behind in my holiday festivity decorating activities. So maybe I am in a bit of a hurry.

But! There is a reason. Actually, there is a history of reasons. Long, long ago, in a land far, far away (well, OK, in Akron), there were two little kittens and a very sad little Christmas tree. It was the cheapest of cheap trees and was decorated with homemade paper garland because back in those days, there were many college bills to pay and Ramen Noodles were the meal du jour. Those two little kittens were in love with that cheap, ugly tree. They climbed it, they pulled things off of it, they spent their every waking moment playing with it. Within a week, the previously sad and ugly tree was even more sad and ugly because those little buttholes destroyed it.

The following year, I decided to take the wise advice of a fellow cat keeper. She recommended setting up the less sad and ugly replacement tree first without lights or ornaments. Once the kittens seemed to have gotten over the joy of having the great indoors in the living room, then add the pretty blinking lights. And once they were done staring longingly at those, then introduce the shiny ornaments. The idea was to make it a little interesting at a time instead of the all at once HOLY SMOKES WOULD YOU LOOK AT ALL THE SHINY AND BRIGHT GOODNESS! PARTY IN THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

It worked. The cats didn't rip the tree down that year (BTW, I now know that this strategy works with dogs and kids, too!). So I made it a habit in the years that followed to slowly set up the tree. Doing so requires that you start the process perhaps a few weeks earlier than you otherwise would. If you don't, you run the risk of not getting to decorate it until 10 minutes before you are going to take it down.

As the years went by, I began to fill the time between tree phases with bright shiny outdoor lights. Then more bright shiny outdoor lights. Then even more bright shiny outdoor lights. Before I knew it, I was putting out dozens of strands of lights. And I wanted more. But to accomplish that task, you need time. Since work has a tendency to interfere with my fun time, I had to squeeze in the decorating in the evenings and weekends. And I had to back up my start date just a little bit farther.

Then began the tradition of visiting my husband's family for Thanksgiving. That tradition, while wonderful, puts a severe damper in my Christmas decorating timeline. I want to turn those happy little lights on the second we return, and in order to do that, I must start before we leave. And given the fact that my Christmas Kingdom is teetering on the edge of being featured in the next Griswold's movie, we're talking the beginning of November.

So, if my world were a perfect world, I would have started with the decorating on November 1st. I promise I don't start turning the outdoor stuff on until after Thanksgiving. As for the indoor stuff? Well, my big tree in the living room holds enough lights to both heat the entire house and provide enough light to read by, so I do start turning it on as soon as it's all set up. Usually that would be done by now, so I am running late. And I've had to read by the light of a lamp because of it.

Especially for Jen, here's some upside-down Christmas trees. There are also some that come with a bracket so that you can attach the base to your ceiling, but of course I couldn't find any photos. This place sells them (or at least they did when we lived near there).

Article originally appeared on burgh baby (http://www.theburghbaby.com/).
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