Since I'm not really interested in ever seeing my living room floor again, I took Alexis to the store to spend some of her Christmas cash and gift cards. There were a few things on her list that she didn't get, so we hunted up and down the aisles looking for just the right thing. We found it. AND we found it on clearance for over 50% off. While I was pretty sure that was a sign that it was meant to be, Alexis and I had a heated discussion where she tried to convince me that she "needed" (her word choice, not mine) a doll. The child received no less than four new dolls for Christmas, so I'm thinking the word "need" might have been a bit of an exaggeration. Then she tried to convince me that she "needed" the Dora tent. I have decided that we have donated enough money to Dora's college fund, so I declared myself the boss and we headed home with a little tent shaped like a house.
Assembling the house quickly turned into a sitcom. I forgot for a moment that I'm not a man and thought I would just assemble the fourteen eleventy seven pieces without reading the instructions. Once I came to my senses, it started to go together pretty easily. That is, until Alexis started wanting to stand in it. It's not very easy to slide tent-like material over a frame when there's a Toddler standing on most of the pieces. And it's even more difficult when you have to drop everything and go ask why in the heck your Toddler knows the words "pitching a tent." Daddy claims Rachel taught it to her and he was able to cite the exact episode, so I'm letting it slide. For now.
Once I finished assembling the first half, Alexis commenced moving every single thing she owns into her freshly pitched tent. (Don't tell her, but that's pretty much what I was hoping for when I let her buy it. I see the tent as one giant toy box, capable of holding furniture and dolls and Toddlers and keeping them out of my sight. I'll let you know how that works out for me.) Of course, as soon as I wasn't looking, she re-entered the Naked Toddler Zone. While her stove top will never be the same, it was a short lived trip into nudity because the poor kid is suffering from some nasty diarrhea. While it has been accompanied by many sound effects all evening, I wasn't willing to bet the living room floor on her Early Warning System.
Once the whole thing was put together, Alexis acted as if she had died and gone to heaven. She sat inside her little house, rocking in her chair, cooking her Bear some dinner, and sweeping the floor. Just as I was starting to get worried that I might have to let her sleep in it, her Early Warning System went off. I guess her bottom really doesn't smell like roses because she flew out of that house so fast you would think Dora herself was standing in our dining room. I quickly closed the door and windows. That odor is best left locked inside the little house, at least until I can send in some fumigators.
On her way out of the house, Alexis could be heard proclaiming, "Yuck! Stinky!" Amen, kid. Amen.
