I have made two critical errors today:

1. I noticed that the last of the gum-mangling, misery-making, sharp as knives teeth had busted through in Alexis' mouth. And I thought to myself, "Those two were easy."

2. When Alexis' screamed at Daddy through her entire bath, I thought, "And so goes the continuation of her turning on Daddy."

My reward for these two misguided thoughts? I get to be deaf in one ear! Yay! All I can hear is this lovely ringing sound in my left ear. I learned that there is a fire truck siren installed in all one-year olds. Ours must be defective or something because it went off for 30 minutes solid while positioned right up against my left ear. 30 minutes is a long time to wait for Tylonel, teething tablets, and Orajel to kick in. Forget the common cold, someone has got to cure babies of teething.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go find Alexis' owner's manual and look up how to uninstall the fire truck siren.