It's great to be a Burgh baby because we have this guy . . . everybody, meet Jackson.

Jackson is the Man. Now you may be wondering why they keep him in that rather unsuitable area. The Pittsburgh Zoo claims its because male elephants are solitary. But really, it's because Jackson truly is the Man. Here, I'll prove it.

Meet Jackson's son, Scotty. He lives in Louisville.

Now meet Jackson's daughter, Tufani. She lives at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

OK, now meet Jackson't daughter, Kianga (she's the bigger one). She also lives at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

And now, meet Jackson's son Kedar. He lives at the Indianapolis Zoo.

Wait, we're not done yet. Jackson also has a daughter in Pittsubrgh. Her name is Victoria. And let's not forget about her step-sister, Calee. I couldn't find a photo of the two of them (and they weren't out when we were at the zoo, as far as I can tell), so you'll have to use your imagination.

These two were out when we were at the Zoo, however. Guess what . . . they're pregnant. Anybody want to guess who's the daddy? (The baby in the middle apparently wasn't fathered by Jackson.)

And that makes Jackson the most "productive" (totally not my word) elephant in the United States. That's one pimp of an elephant, and he lives in the Burgh.

And just what does Alexis think of all these elephant babies?

She thinks Jackson is cheese-tacular.