Oh. My. Lord. Alexis woke up this morning and decided she is 2. It is not pretty.

Alexis: "Up"
I pick her up.
Alexis: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" (Allow me to translate. That means, "What the hell do you think you're doing? PUT ME DOWN NOW.)
I put her down.
Alexis: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. UP. UP. UP." (Translation not necessary.)
I pick her up.
Alexis: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" (I would translate, but I have no freakin' idea at this point.)

Later . . .

Me: "Do you want something to eat?"
Alexis: "Yes."
Me: "What do you want?"
Alexis: "Cracker."
I hand the kid a cracker. She promptly launches it at me with enough velocity to take out an eye. So I open the fridge for her.
Me: "What do you want to eat?"
Alexis grabs a container of yogurt and starts laughing like a mad woman. She laughs so hard and for so long that tears start to come out of her eyes. I try to give her a spoon and open the yogurt. Let's just say I'll be cleaning up the yogurt spatters all over the kitchen walls for the next six weeks.

Best part? We're going out for dinner tonight. THAT should be great fun.