Allow me to impart some very valuable knowledge . . .

* Cheap crayons SUCK. Stick to Crayola.
* If you leave the water on long enough, the garden hose will explode. The Husband will probably explode as well, however, so you may not want to try this at home.
* A one-year old can figure out how to unlock a deadbolt, open a door, and run like Forrest straight into the street. Lather, rinse, repeat.
* You can survive on funnel cakes alone. It's easier to do if you have strawberries, ice cream, and whip cream handy.