I find it utterly amazing the number of people that find this blog by Googling things like "infant poop coin if she eats it" and "prewash baby clothes." I suppose the former is made with attempts at finding stories detailing others' experiences. Fair enough. I can't help anyone with that because so far our child has been kind enough to not actually swallow any forbidden objects (as far as we know). Now if you want to hear about bulldogs eating things, that I can do. We have witnessed the art of eating and passing Legos, crayons, entire turkey carcasses, shoe heels, footstool legs, toy stuffing, plastic, and much, much more. Really, it would take hours to detail the things that Meg has eaten. It's more like, what hasn't she eaten?

So instead of going down that path, let me speak to the latter of the intriguing Google searches. I have come to the conclusion that anyone that Googles "prewash baby clothes" must be trying to figure out whether or not they should do it. The fact that you would ask Dr. Google that question in and of itself says a lot about you, but I won't even begin to go there. Instead, here are the pros and cons as I see them:

Pros:
1. Clothes, in general, go some pretty gross places before they hit store racks. And I'm not just talking about the sweat shop in China where the fabric was made. I worked retail for a lot of years. I could tell you a great little story about a box and a small four-legged creature, but my brain shuts down when I try to access that memory. Just trust me when I say new clothes are NOT clean. At all.
2. Prewashing baby clothes will, in theory, make them softer. Softer is probably a good thing.

Cons:
1. Do you prewash your own clothes? No? Anything real bad come of it? (Other than the time that you didn't prewash the dark jeans that specifically stated you needed to prewash them if you didn't want smurf blue skin--that doesn't count.)
2. Have you ever heard an infant complain about his or her clothes not being prewashed? Me neither.
3. I guarantee you that no matter what you do, there will be clothes that will never get worn. That's just the way that it is. If you prewash it, you can't exchange it for diapers. That baby will wear every one of those that you have in your house in a matter of days.
4. Did you know that babies spit up A LOT? As in every five minutes a lot? Think about that for a second. Now, if you are the kind of person that is pondering prewashing baby clothes, then you are probably the kind of person that won't want your bundle of joy lounging around in stained clothing. So you'll be changing those clothes faster than Lindsay Lohan changes rehabs. And you'll be doing fourteen loads of laundry every day to keep up with the quick changes. Do you really want to start with the all day laundry battles now?
5. Don't you have better things to do with your time than wash a bunch of clothes that haven't even been worn in a fitting room? (Think about it--no 3-month old is hanging out at the Gap fitting room seeing how their butt looks in that pair of bootleg jeans.) If you do have that kind of time, then I suggest you sit your butt on the couch and stare at the walls for a few hours. Enjoy the sheer boredom of it all. When that monster miracle pops out, life as you know it IS OVER. You'll be lucky if you get to brush your teeth once a week let alone do anything fun like sit and do nothing.

So, there you have it. Now I shall await the phone call from my Mother-in-Law chastising me for being so irresponsible as to not have prewashed Alexis' baby clothes.