Quite some time ago, The Sports Mama asked me to talk about whether or not I believe in spanking. I intentionally wanted to wait until after Christmas to answer since it seemed to me that it would feel weird talking about discipline in the midst of look! pretty! lights! There were a whole bunch of rules with the meme, so you should go over to her site to read them all. Y'all probably figured out by now that I don't do rules very well.

First of all, I don't really think Alexis is old enough for much punishment other than a stern "no" and removing her from the situation. She understands that some things are bad, but I don't think she quite gets the concept of consequences well enough to get too crazy with her. For example, she knows very well she isn't supposed to play with her food. But I don't think it occurs to her that she might actually get in trouble for it.

Last night she was sitting no further from me than you are from your computer. Daddy had just given her a bowl with a beautiful little hunk of chocolate pie. I was typing away at yesterday's blog post and figured she was pretty well occupied for the next few minutes. I mean, if you hand me a hunk of chocolate pie, I'm headed to the alter to worship the stuff for a few minutes. Don't bother talking to me, I'll be busy making out with my food. I forget that Alexis is WEIRD and isn't much into junk food. I have actually heard myself utter the words, "NO, you cannot have more Lima beans," to the child. The concept of preferring fruits and vegetables over candy and potato chips is so foreign to me that I just can't seem to hold it in my brain for more than a few seconds at a time.

Anyway, she dumped the pie on the floor, lubed up her hands, and started to use it to paint her sweater. I didn't notice for probably three minutes, and only then because she was way too quiet. The first few times I fussed at Alexis that she had to stop and what she was doing was bad, she cackled with glee. It took her at least two minutes to realize she really was in trouble. The photo from yesterday actually captures the exact moment when it dawned on her that we weren't joking around. (What? You don't take pictures as you scold your kid? You totally should--there's some priceless shots to be had right then.)

Right after that picture was taken, Daddy hauled her off to the kitchen and made her wash her hands. Alexis fell to pieces in the process. When that kid figures out that she is in trouble and has done something wrong, she is positively devastated. She LIVES to make people happy (I'd put my money on her for class clown). When she realizes she has disappointed someone, she just plain loses it. Last night she stood in the kitchen sobbing and repeating "I'm sorry" over and over and over until I finally picked her up to console her.

Who needs to spank when your kid carries around a ten-pound conscience like that one? Definitely not me. Good thing, too, since I don't believe in spanking. I simply have never been in a situation where it seemed like spanking would be an effective cure for the behavior. The only experience that comes close is from my days babysitting as a teen. There was a little boy named Shane that once chased me around the kitchen with a knife because I wouldn't let him have another cookie. He might just have deserved a beating for trying to cut the sitter "into a million little pieces" (His words, I remember them well. I bet right now you're hoping your kids hang out with one just like him). Even Shane probably couldn't be "fixed" with a spanking or two. What he really needed was a Dad that sobered up long enough to realize he was macking (unsuccessfully) on a 14-year old.

The challenging part is that my husband does believe in spanking. It's funny because his stories about laughing hysterically as he got spanked are part of my belief that spanking doesn't really work. He'll tell you that he got into trouble so much and spanked so often that he started to just think it was funny. He would actually say, "You think that's going to stop me?" He turned out just fine, other than that whole selective hearing thing that seems to get installed in all men at some point. Who knows if he would have turned out "better" or "worse" if he had never been spanked . . .

Anyway, we've come to an agreement that we're going to try it my way for a while. If there comes a point in time where he thinks Alexis deserves a spanking, we're going to talk about it first. If we agree, so be it. Spanking will commence.

Now, if she pulls some of the crap I pulled as a kid, I'll be changing my stance REAL quick. Climbing out of the bedroom window to sneak out of the house and then hanging out with friends until 4:00 in the morning is cause for a good whipping, no doubt about it.

I'm supposed to tag others to cover this same topic, but as I've said, I don't do rules. If you want to tackle it, go for it!