Dear Dorky Self,
Halloween is going to come around and you are going to call Picture People to make an appointment for the traditional costume portrait for Alexis. When you do it, they are going to ask you what day you would like. For the love of your sanity, ask when the Mall is doing trick-or-treating. Then do the portraits ANY day but that day.
Lest you manage to block out the horror that is mall trick-or-treating, let me remind you that you once took Alexis for portraits during the golden hours and thought it would be Great! Fun! to take the kid around for a few minutes.
There is no such thing as a few minutes.
The Mall is not transformed into a haunted house for Halloween. Remember? It turns into a zoo. There will be hundreds of kids running around. Uncontrolled. To make it even more fun, the hooligans will be the rudest bunch of short people you've ever seen.
Don't forget about the kid who literally knocked Alexis over while snatching a Tootsie Roll at light speed. Keep in mind the parents who actually demonstrated to their kids how to just cut in line over and over. Focus on the piece of poo brat that kept cutting in front of people repeatedly so she could have more Rita's Italian Ice. Recall the teenagers that spit out a tirade of curses when they realized that a place was giving out coupons instead of candy.
Remember.
And don't ever do it again.
Love,
The Lady Who Has Not Yet Blocked the Nightmare, but Will Soon
(Thanks, Pappaw!)
An extra bonus, brought to you by Trannyhead--The MegaDora.
Happy Halloween!