Alexis rarely gets sick. Sure, she leaks bodily fluids from every orifice imaginable pretty much all the time, but that's so totally a daycare toddler thing. I don't think the kids are happy if they can't smear snot all over each other. It's like a symbol of love and devotion with them.

When Alexis does have a cold, as she has for the past week, I tend to be all "whatever" about it. I'm not one to rush her to the doctor each time she sneezes, and since Mr. Husband and I have had the same cold right there with her (gee, I wonder if that has anything to do with all the snot smearing?), we knew she was pretty much OK. A little coughing and congestion never really hurt anybody, especially since nobody ever had a fever.

And yet, all it took were the words, "My ear hurts" and I jumped out of my desk and teleported my way to daycare to pick the kid up early today. Seriously, RECORD TIME. Along the way, I called our pediatrician.

Me: "My two-year old says her ear hurts."
Lady Whose Job it is to Keep You Away: "Does she have any other symptoms?"
Me: "No . . . uh, yeah. She does. She totally has a fever."
Lady Whose Job it is to Keep You Away: "Have you given her anything?"
Me: "Ma'am, please just let me bring her in. PLEASE."
Lady Whose Job it is to Keep You Away: "?????"

I really do appreciate the triage nurse thing that our pediatrician does--it saves time and money for all involved. However, Little Miss Alexis has history. A history of getting sick beyond the point of being all "whatever" the VERY SECOND it is a holiday or we are out of town.

Knock, knock. Who's there? CHRISTMAS EVE. It's the double-whammy of a holiday AND us getting ready to head out of town.

I ain't screwing around with any ear pain, yo. It has taken way more really bad holidays/trips than it should have for me to learn my lesson, but -oh- has it been learned.

So, I made up symptoms and generally lied my way into the pediatrician's office. Sure, daycare had only called me because they didn't want to forget to tell me Alexis said her ear hurt. Sure, she only said it once. Sure, she was behaving totally normal. I didn't care. Meh behbeh was getting her ears looked at, and that was that.

Into the pediatrician's office Alexis and I went, with her acting entirely too chipper to be sick. She LOVES going to the doctor. I suppose it's because they hand out stickers and pretzels. I dunno. I just know that she was singing at the top of her lungs as the nurse took her temp and went over her symptoms.

I try not to lie in person, and the thermometer was selling me up the river anyway, so I came clean and said, "She said her ear hurt once." I, of course, got The Stare.

"Which ear?" the nurse asked. Me. Who didn't have ear pain. I don't think.

I finally came to my senses after a few moments of pondering the question and asked Alexis. You know, the kid who is totally capable of speaking for herself.

Which she did.

The nurse was not impressed. She gave me the My Time is Being Wasted at the End of the Day and I Could Already Be Heading Home Stare. She tried to disguise it with a big friendly grin, but OH I saw it.

Finally the doctor came in and after entirely too much beating around the bush, he said, "So, do you have monsters in your ear?" as he peeked into Alexis ear.

I held my breath, thinking I might have to kick the guy in the donkey omelets for suggesting anything even remotely referring to monsters. Just as I was about to inform him he had better not have caused me a month worth of sleepless nights by gabbing about monsters hiding in my kid's ears, he said, "Yup, it's infected."

I tried very hard not to do a little "I Called it Right!" Jig right then and there.

But, I totally called it right.

I think that proves you really can teach an old dog new tricks.

**************************************************************************

I consulted the random number generator thingy for yesterday's post about the dollhouse, and it picked #2. So, Woy, drop me a line and tell me what you want me to do with Mrs. Goodbee. I can send it to you, donate it to the charity of your choice, or even hold onto it for PittGirl's Home for Anonymous Bloggers Who No Longer Blog. I'm sure she could have LOADS of fun with it.

(There will be Christmas light photos tomorrow night. I promise.)