I have bestowed the magic that is a Starbucks hot chocolate upon Alexis exactly twice in her life. The last time, she drank approximately a teaspoon of it then used the rest to make like an erupting volcano. As a result, I have cut her off. So today when we were in the drive-thru at Starbucks and she began to insist that she wanted "choco milk," I ignored her. But as we made our way to the window, she grew more insistent and, more importantly, more polite. I kind of felt bad that we hadn't ordered her something. Not bad enough to ask to change the order, mind you, but bad. As we were about to pull away, she unleashed the most pleasantly polite request of all time, "Mommy, choco milk, please!" so I hurriedly asked the barista for a kids' size cup. No liquid, just the cup. I quickly poured her leftover white milk from lunch into the cup and handed to her. She took a sip and asked, "What dis?" I told her the truth and explained that it was milk then watched as she chugged a big ol' cup of milk so fast, I feared she was going to make herself sick. Obviously, presentation is everything and I need to keep a Starbucks cup handy.

I should have known that there would be a payback for my actions. After all, passing off cruddy 2% milk as Starbucks magic should be a crime punishable by several years in prison. My payback? An even worse crime. Earlier this evening, I watched Alexis commit the worst atrocity that you can possibly imagine. I'm pretty sure there's a law strictly forbidding her actions. If there isn't, there should be.

She insisted that I share my Girl Scout cookies with her then

proceeded to open up that Do-si-do

and lick the peanut butter out of the middle.

She didn't eat the cookie, just the peanut butter.

I can't even look at her. Abusing a Girl Scout cookie? Wrong on so many levels.