* Burghification: Exposing a child to all of the things that make Pittsburgh great.

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I know, I know, I know. We're usually all "Steelers, Steelers, Steelers," but really, we are some Pens loving fools around this house and have been for many moons. It's just that hockey season is so LONG. If I talked about it all the time, I wouldn't have time for anything else.

Anyhoo, we ventured to a Pens game last night. Many a person would think we were crazy to take a 2-year old to an event that involved sitting still for a really long time. To that I say: It wasn't her first game (she went to one last year, too) and we knew she could handle it. Think about it, there's lots of lights, cute boys moving around really fast on the ice, clapping, popcorn, and M&M's. That sounds like a recipe for a good time. And it was.

One of the people who thought we were crazy was the very sweet woman seated next to us. When she first saw that we really were going to sit in those two seats next to hers, she gave Alexis her best, "You're really cute, but I'm going to want to hurt you in about an hour, aren't I?" face. Sorry to disappoint, fellow Burgher. Yes, my daughter rocks and actually watched the game. Well, she watched the first period anyway.

She spent a good portion of the second period trying to figure out what happened to the blimp they fly around the place that drops free stuff on people's heads. It had long been put away, but it didn't dawn on her until a few minutes into the period that it was gone. So she kept asking me. And asking me. And asking me. And that is how I missed a goal that was scored no more than 20 feet in front of me.

Near the end of the second period, I had a glaring reminder of why the Penguins are far classier than the Pirates. Not only are the players good peeps who make the best commercials ever, but the organization as a whole has its head screwed on right, all the way down to the mascot. While the nasty ass Pirate is single-handily responsible for the Toddler's phobia of large costumed people, Iceburgh (the Penguin) was very sweet to her. He snuck up behind her and planted a big ol' smooch on her noggin. Initially, I have to admit I thought it was Mr. Husband planting his lips in dramatic fashion, but then I realized he's not quite that fuzzy. Iceburgh was kind enough to back away a few feet when he realized Alexis wasn't as charmed by his lips as I was, and even tried to play peek-a-boo with her. She didn't buy what he was selling, but he still gets some kudos for not being a jerk and getting a kick out of scaring her (like the jerkface Pirate did). (Anybody else ever notice that the Pirate reeks of cheap beer? Do you think it's because he's drunk or because a ton of girls have thrown beer at him after he groped them? Both?)

After her run in with Iceburgh, Alexis was pretty clear on how she was going to spend the rest of the game: keeping an eye on him. He stationed himself one section over from us the entire third period, making it pretty easy for her to make sure she knew where he was at all times. She talked to him (from afar, of course), showed him her little Iceburgh baby, and kept making me look at him. That would be how I missed all but one of the third period goals (For those of you keeping track, I missed five of the Pen's goals because Alexis kept making me look somewhere else. If you would like to get some of our good luck karma around for the playoffs, feel free to buy us some tickets.) Even when the Toddler's little body started to alert her it was time to just go to sleep, she managed to keep one eye open, just to make sure no mascots tried to accost her.

After the game, we celebrated Alexis' re-birthday. (Note to the people who decide who has to have a ticket for these kind of events: If the kid isn't heavy enough to sit in the seat without getting folded up, I ain't buying her a ticket. Screw your "Two and up" rules.) We vowed to return sooner, rather than later. It will be a few years before we can go through the Steelers game portion of the Burghification with Alexis, so she'll just have to enjoy lots of Pens games until then.

Random Notes:

- There is ALWAYS some jagoff wearing a Steelers jersey at a Pens game. This games' jagoff had good enough seats that I have to think he can afford to drop a few bucks on a Pens jersey. Get with the program, Mr. Jagoff.

- Most amusing conversation I overheard:
Kid: Dad, what do the players do after the game?
Man: The take showers then go out drinking.
Kid: Do they get dressed before they go drinking?

(Useless trivia: There are three prominent Pens players who aren't old enough to legally go out drinking--Crosby, Stall, and Letang. As such, I won't be touching the fact that clothing might or might not be optional for that there drinking.)

- Second most amusing conversation:
Guy: Starting that one out early, huh?
Me: Pshaw, she went to a game before she was one.
Guy: That's how you do it. Hey, maybe she'll get to see the Bucs win in her lifetime.
Me: I don't think anyone is going to see the Bucs win in their lifetime.
Guy: Probably not.

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I hope everyone had a happy Easter!