- Undoing the warm fuzzies from last night was a piece of cake for one rotten Toddler. After walking through a store with her face up my butt for a solid ten minutes, she very loudly proclaimed, "Stinky bum!" Whatever, kiddo. I'd rather be pretty than fresh-scented. Next time try maintaining a safe distance.

- I'm sure you will hear about it on the news, but I will soon be honored by the Academy in the category of Best Actress from my breath-taking performance in, "You Got Dora Sheets, Little Toddler!" Even I believed that I was genuinely excited and thrilled about those tacky pink Dora sheets. And we all know that I plan to assassinate the bossy little Latina just as soon as I find someone that will sell me a shotgun. That was some impressive acting, if I do say so myself.

- Where are the mother truckin' Girl Scouts when you need them? I went on a hunting expedition today armed with mucho cashola and couldn't find a single lazy Girl Scout sitting at a table while her mom sold cookies. I need some darn cookies, people. It's going to get ugly if I don't get some lemon thingys tomorrow. (Why did they change the names anyway? I was fine with "Caramel Delights" and "Peanut Butter Patties." I can't remember that cutesy crap.)

- You with the Georgia license plate driving through Pittsburgh at 8:30 this evening: Slam on your breaks like that again, and I will tell my husband to intentionally ram into your butt. Snow + Ice = No slammy slam the breaky breaks. You very nearly caused a twenty car pile-up when you suddenly realized you weren't comfortable driving 50 mph through the snow.

- Alexis had a play date with the one and only Dylan today. Peeps, he's even cuter in person than he is in pictures. I kind of wanted to nibble on his ear, but his mom was keeping a close eye on me. Darn the luck.

- Earlier this week, I shed real tears when this happened to the very last Girl Scout cookie in our house:

Rest in peace, you beautiful little Dos-Si-Do.