Dear Makers of Those Things I Lurve but that Cost More than a Gallon of Gas,



Hiya! Let me just start by saying I don't do paid posts. Nope. No way. In fact, they make me cRaZy. Won't do them.



But.



I think y'all are geniuses. Mind-reading geniuses. Mind-reading geniuses who crawled into my brain (scary place that it is) and figured out EXACTLY what it was that I so desperately needed last summer. You watched how I lurved seeing the Toddler enjoy popsicles. You heard my brain noise about how I was going to blow a gasket if she didn't eat the dang things faster. You saw the fireworks when she dripped popsicle juice all over every freakin' thing in the tri-state area.



And you solved my problem.



That mini thing? GEEEEENIUS! I mean, people, those things are EXACTLY toddler-sized! I know you knew that, but WOOOOHOOOO! I can give the kid a Popsicle and she will actually finish it in under 15 minutes! There's still a little drippy drippy going on, but I can live with a little drippy drippy as long as it doesn't lead to sticky sticky all over my floory floory.



So, thank you SO MUCH for creating the perfect solution for one of my many little problems!



But.



WTH? Over $4.00? For some juice on a stick? Are you serious? I know you know I'm going to buy them anyway. $4.00 is a small price to pay for a little bit of sanity. But. I'm going to moan and groan each time the kid downs five of those little buggers in one day (and she will--they are tiny enough for me to shove a whole one up my left nostril and still have space to breath). I'm going to whine that I could have driven to, um, a block or two with the gas I could have bought with that money. I will never let the world forget how ticked off I am that I am a slave to the over-priced Popsicles.



So. How about you send me some coupons? $1 off would be nice. Even $2 off. Heck, why not go all cRaZy and send some coupons for FREE Popsicles? If you do, I will say your name over and over and over and over and I'll tell all my friends to buy them and I'll rave about how fantastic miniature popsicles are for slower-than-molasses toddlers.



Pony up some coupons. C'mon, you know you want to.



As an added bonus, I'll do a much better job of capturing the Toddler singing your praises. I might even bust out the semi-decent and hardly ever used camcorder. Maybe some lights. I might even throw in some hair and makeup.



Love,

The Lady Who is Devoted to You, but Would Like to Save a Buck or Two



P.S.

It just occurred to me that you won't know I'm talking about you if I don't say who you are, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis. So, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis, did you know that I love you, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis? Well, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis, I do love you. However, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis, you are too expensive. Work on that, will you, Popsicle Mighty Magic Minis? SEND COUPONS TO ME. ME, ME, ME. Please and thank you.



P.P.S.

I know I could make mini popsicles myself. In fact, I did last year. BE YE NOT SO STUPID! It was totally not worth all the effort. Or, maybe it's just me that ends up with a freezer full of assorted juices that are permanently frozen in place because the stupid Popsicle mold thingy got knocked over before it all froze into a solid sheet of red and blue and purple and green flavored ice. Speaking of which, I wonder what would happen if I were to defrost the freezer? Biggest sticky puddle ever? Better not chance it.



P.P.P.S.

I may be typing in run-on sentences because I may or may not have eaten about a dozen over-priced miniature Popsicles (Did ya' know that was a brand name and not the name of the stuff? You know, like Kleenex? I didn't either, but I do now!) and I may or may not currently be suffering from a sugar high. Woo-eeeee! So, how about some coupons? Go team Blue Popsicle! Coupons. Me. Me. Coupons.