I have this little game I like to play. I know I can't be the only one that plays it. I've lost the game a time or two and I REALLY thought I was about to lose it tonight. It's so much more exciting when I have a new opponent, and fortunately, I was able to beat my new opponent tonight.

I like to play chicken with my car's gas gauge.

Way back in an ancient time and place, before Audrey (of course I have named my car Audrey--there are no other names that would be appropriate), I really knew my buddy Mitsi (the Mitsubishi--are you sensing a pattern with my car names?). Mitsi and her gas gauge would yell and scream and throw a fit at me, trying to convince me that it was time for a stop at ye old Money Drop-off Point (sometime referred to as a gas station). But I knew better. I knew Mitsi was a Drama Queen and could make it 24 more miles after that light came on, so I would proceed to drive 23.9 miles before filling her up.

(I am conveniently ignoring the part of the dating process where Mitsi and I ended up stranded on the side of the road for two hours because she won a round of chicken. That may or may not be how I found her exact limits. It also may or may not be how she ended up with lipstick on her roof.)

But Audrey, dear Audrey, she is still a bit of a mystery to me. I do not know the inner workings of her gas consumption reporting. Is she exaggerating for comedic effect? Is she minimizing her needs?

Yesterday Audrey's "You May Want to Consider Purchasing a Wee Bit of Fuel at an Appropriate and Convenient Moment" light came on as I was driving home from the Softball Game of the Century (which I will not be talking about because it wasn't what I would call the prettiest game ever). I figured I would just stop in the morning. That was before I remembered that getting Alexis out the door in the morning is like trying to shove a herd of buffalo into a groundhog hole. Once that reality smacked me in the face, I figured I would run at lunch. That idea was destroyed by a really fun day at work that did not involve any eating or running (or breathing, for what it matters).

So, after work.

Except, I never leave work early enough to do something constructive BEFORE I pick up Alexis, so I had to do that first. Once Alexis was in the car, Audrey's Polite Reminder Light had been on for about 15 miles. A wise person would have driven directly to the nearest gas station, but not a cheap person. Nope, a cheap person has to drive an extra five miles to a gas station that takes Fuel Perks (a local grocery store gives us money off gas for shopping there--it's kind of like trading bags full of money for a few cents off gas, but I do manage to come out ahead on the game). I had 40 cents off per gallon to use, OF COURSE I was willing to risk running out of gas on a busy road in the middle of rush hour.

About half way to the gas station of choice, Audrey's Polite Reminder Light turned into something entirely different. The damn thing started flashing and dinging and flashing and dinging. I don't speak Ding, but I think it was saying, "You @#%@#ing moron, get your @$^%@$@# !##$ to a gas station NOW. Or else. @#%@#$."

(*&*&^

At about the same time, I suddenly realized that chugging a Caramel Macchiatto as you are walking out of the office will result in a desperate need to visit a whole other part of the gas station not long after. To say that I was tense and VERY FOCUSED on reaching my destination would be the understatement of the century. I was muttering obscenities under my breath at each and every driver that stood between me and the gas station. All the while, Alexis was alternating between playing LELLO CAR! and calling out what she wanted to do.

"Wook at fish!" (She recognizes the aquarium store. Yes, that is a sad statement.)

"I wan French Fries!" (The Golden Arches get that reaction every.single.time.)

"LELLOW CAR!"

"Go eat noodles!" (Thai restaurant.)

"LELLO CAR!"

"Go toy store!"

I didn't even care that I was losing LELLO CAR! by a landslide. I just wanted to take care of business and put some freakin' gas in the car that was yelling at me REPEATEDLY. I was soooooo focused on the road and getting through all the obstacles that stood between me and my destination.

Then, suddenly, from the back seat came the most blood-curdling scream I have ever heard. That scream -OH SO- very nearly scared the macchiato right out of me.

Alexis dropped her stupid barrette.

We made it to the gas station and I made it to the bathroom, but that stupid barrette will never be heard from again. It didn't deserve to live after it caused the Toddler to very nearly scare the pee out of me.

Oh, and Audrey? GAME ON.