I'm all about not rubbing in all the fun the Burgh Moms have when we get together, so I won't mention the circumstances under which Alexis and I found ourselves at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday. *cough SO.FUN! cough* I do, however, have to mention that among the attendees was Gina and her two kids, who I have named Her Majesty and The Prince. Her Majesty is an important part of the story that explains just how it was that yesterday became the Official Day of Waiting Your Turn. The Prince needs mentioned because I plan to clone him in miniature form, tuck him in my pocket, and take him with me everywhere I go. He is one useful (and cute!) little man.

So, Alexis is continuing her I'm Too Shy to So Much as Make Eye Contact with You Phase. It's really a joy having a 30+ pound kid glued to your body with her face buried in your armpit. Really. It's even more of a joy to have a 30+ pound kid decide that she's not real fond of being told what to do by someone twice her age. The more Alexis decided to loosen up and actually acknowledge the existence of some of the other kids at the Zoo yesterday, the more she realized that Her Majesty was irritating her. You see, Her Majesty had the nerve, no the AUDACITY to tell Alexis she couldn't go up on the super big and probably toddler crippling slides in the midst of the massive play area at that Zoo. When Her Majesty VERY politely told Alexis they had to stay on the smaller slides, Alexis had a cow.

A very big cow.

From that moment forward, if Her Majesty so much as glanced at Alexis wrong, Alexis turned into Tattler McTattleteron. She would come running to me, in tears, rambling about whatever it was that Her Majesty said. It was ALWAYS something that was very much so appropriate for a 4-year old to say to a 2-year old. Her Majesty may rule the kingdom, but she's doing it in a very polite way. The worst of Her Majesty's so-called offenses took place on one of the smaller toddler-sized slides when there was a whole gaggle of kids waiting. My little angel just sort of toddled her way around a few kids all the way to the front of the line and started to go. Her Majesty very politely told her, "You have to wait your turn."

Alexis had TWO cows. She blubbered and whined and moaned about how horrible and no-good Her Majesty was for being so awful as to have suggested that people should take turns when going down the slide. Alexis was not very amused when I told her that Her Majesty was RIGHT. You SHOULD take turns.

Fast forward to about half an hour later. We were patiently waiting in line to pet a deer. Alexis was still a little ticked off by being told by TWO people that you have to take turns. I was chatting to her about how nice people take turns and we have to be nice because it makes people happy and look! it's almost our turn to pet the deer! See how nice it is to wait and let everyone have a turn! It's going to be our turn next! Just wait another few seconds!

And then it happened.

They happened.

A gaggle of teenagers most certainly old enough to know better went plowing through the line, right in front of us, shoving kids aside and posing so that a woman who very obviously gave birth to at least one of them could take a photo.

Alexis had A Fit. A Royal Fit.

Really, I can't blame her. Why should she have to wait turns if other people don't do it? Gina is posting more about the gaggle of teens (her name for them is much more appropriate, but contains words that I try not to use here), so I'm going to leave it be. She'll be able to do the multiple fiascoes that followed much more justice than I can. Besides, she has photos of the brats and their so-called role model. (See, Alexis? That's why you have to take turns. Otherwise, somebody somewhere is liable to blog about how rude you were and they just might have very un-flattering photos.) I can guarantee you that the next time a gaggle of teenagers comes plowing through a place and their mother stands by and lets them? I'm going ballistic on the mother.

I suggest y'all teach your kids to take turns so I don't have to get all Angry B*tch on you. I mean, c'mon, I'm trying to teach my kid to be nice.

(BTW, somewhere along the line, Her Majesty was able to overcome the snob that is my child and the two of them became best buds. In fact, Alexis was asking to play with Her Majesty this morning, right after she asked, "Where'd Gina go?")