A few nights ago, Mr. Husband was sitting with Alexis at her art table coloring with her. (I know, swoon. Men should spend more time coloring with their kids. It's hot!) (I love that I know Mr. Husband just blushed reading that.) Her latest "thing" with coloring is that she will tell YOU what to color while she supervises. (I have no idea why we have a bossy kid. Now shut up and stop asking silly questions.) She requested a picture of Mommy and Daddy, so away he went, sketching and coloring and shading and drawing a picture of Mommy and Daddy. Between strokes with the dull, fat crayons, he would glance up at me to make sure he was drawing me just right. And he would cackle. In no way did I at all expect that he might be up to no good with that cackling because, you know, I'm not smart enough to figure THAT out.

Mr. Cackles eventually finished his beautious piece of artwork. It's title:

Because OF COURSE you should make it a battle of the sexes when your kid asks you to draw her Mommy and Daddy. I mean, how could it possibly be appropriate to draw Mommy and Daddy holding hands and singing Kumbaya in a field of pretty little flowers?

You know what IS appropriate? Drawing Mommy with devil horns. OH, YES HE DID.

MY TEETH ARE NOT THAT AWFUL. Gawd. But, um, I do tell Alexis it's time to go to bed. A lot. Apparently, that makes me the devil. And I bet you can guess who is the angel. Yup.

Nice halo, Buckeroo. I might have to use it to (*&*$^ the (*&#%^ out of (*^*&% and ^#@#%^$. Yes, I will.

So the next time I'm getting dirty looks or snide remarks from people because Alexis is awake waaaaaay past her bedtime (seriously--why do people always think it's the Mom's fault?), I am going to refer the judgmental goofus to this lovely post. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Gah.

BTW, Mr. Husband, I'm glad you think your pretty little picture is so.dang.hysterical because I think it proves my point. You are SO wrapped around that kid's little finger and she knows it.

"Do whatever you want, Sweetie!" BLRGPHAZIZZLE.