My Alarm Clock Could Kick Your Alarm Clock's Hiney
So, how was your day?
Glad to hear it.
What's that?
Mine?
My day was fantastic! Thank you so much for asking. Well, I should say it was fantastic all except for that little bitty part of the day where my alarm clock seemed to malfunction. That part was NOT so fun, I tell ya'.
It all started around 5:30 when I heard little Toddler footsteps walking down the hall. Now the Toddler? She has actually been sleeping in her own bed all night long for the last week or so. I blame it on vacation and the fact that we didn't HAVE to get up early all those mornings. Of course now that we're back to the grind the kid would decide she needs to become one with my pillow, thereby interrupting my four hours of nightly beauty rest. Whatever.
I heard the footsteps and figured I would just ignore the short person standing next to my side of the bed. It worked, too, because she went around to the other side and used the Bulldog's footstool (don't ask, I don't want to talk about it) to climb up on the bed. She laid down beside me, all snuggly and cozy, and we fell back asleep.
Next thing I know, I started to hear noises. Odd noises. I thought it seemed a little weird that the alarm clock was going off half an hour before it really needed to go off. Then I felt it. Wetness. On my face. Stinky, disgusting, chunky wetness. Just as my brain was processing that an alarm clock can't emit chunky wet stuff, the Toddler whispered, "Mommy, I puke."
Awwww, yeah. My life is now complete. I have had a kid puke on my face while I was sleeping.
(BTW, I am the SUCKTASTIC Parent of the Year and sent her to daycare anyway. I needed to get my laptop so I could work from home and figured either I could drag her to my office, or I could drop her off at school and maybe, just maybe, it would turn out to be a random weird thing and she would be fine. She lasted half an hour, but I did manage to grab my laptop. After that, there was working but no more puking. Not even when she ate a giant gob of canned cranberries at dinner.)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Reader Comments (59)
You know how you told me throwing up a little in my mouth was cool? I'm REALLY cool. You DID NOT share that detail with me. I just puked a little in my mouth. There was NOT a Dance of Joy.
I"m crackin up laughin!!! That pic is the best Daddy pic too.
Mum of the Year. Totally.
Yuk.
Came over from authorblog where riverpoet nominated you for POTD.
Not sure if I should thank them or slap them.... lol
Dude. Um. Gross.
Nasty! Talk about your face scrub.
Um,,yeah,,that may just be the funniest story you have ever written! I can't stop laughing.
Thanks-you never fail to make me roar-ever. Love you. and that lil' toddler. she's perfect.
oh, and let us know when you're ready to talk about the footstool.
that is just gross, god I hate the puke.
"Awwww, yeah. My life is now complete. I have had a kid puke on my face while I was sleeping.
(BTW, I am the SUCKTASTIC Parent of the Year and sent her to daycare anyway"
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!
(finally catching up...)
so the next time you catch Mr. Husband shaking up the Toddler like that, you're gonna make sure she pukes on HIS face, right?
(and we have steps to our bed for Ginger...otherwise she cries.all.night.)