OK, I admit it. I am frustrated that the Toddler is seemingly NEVER going to have hair. The kid is just shy of 2 1/2, and yet I still haven't given her a haircut. I have trimmed a few wild strands of hair that apparently got the GROW! BABY! GROW! message because they were so much longer than the others. I think in all I have cut eight strands of that little mullet. EIGHT STRANDS.

This is a travesty, you know. I am a skilled French-braider. I can do Dutch braids. I know how to twist hair up all foofy and cool. There really isn't much that I can't do. Except, there isn't a dang thing that can be done with hair that seemingly doesn't grow and is determined to stay a mullet. There are kids in Alexis' daycare class that have to get haircuts every four weeks, including girls. One three-year old has already grown her hair long enough and cut enough of it off at once to do Locks of Love. Not my kid, though. She might finally have enough hair to be able to Locks of Love when she's, oh 30 or so. I might cry real tears over this whole thing.

Except.

Except that this morning, Alexis asked for ponytails (she nearly always asks for something to be done with her hair and I try very hard not to laugh in her face and tell her to go shave the Lhasa Apso and make a wig because she doesn't have enough hair for jack). I figured I would see just how long she would sit still. I challenged my little hands to what I previously thought was impossible.

French braids.

They lasted approximately fourteen minutes and then The Toddler ripped them out. Because she ROCKS like that. Dangnabit.

Do they make Rogaine for Toddlers? Anybody?

BTW, the first person that points out that she obviously has my hair, thereby forcing me to acknowledge that it will be two more years before she will get hair is getting a poopy diaper in the mail. Don't think that I won't track your IP address and do it, BECAUSE I WILL.

(Except, I am far too technically stupid and lazy to actually do it, so I'll just mentally mail you a poopy diaper. But, it will stink to high heaven, even if just in my mind.)