Dear Fine Producers of Toddler-Sized Nightgowns,

Hi, there! You know that I love you. Really, I do. My kid? She is a nightgown FREAK. One of the happiest days of her short life was when she was finally old enough for me to be OK with her wearing nightgowns. She loves that they are almost like dresses. She loves that she stays cooler as she sleeps when she isn't wrapped in head-to-toe fabric. She loves the fun characters splashed all over them. She especially loves the accessories that seem to come with toddler-sized nightgowns. From the slippers to the headbands, she is in accessory heaven.

I am not. I do not like the accessories. At all. Look, if I wanted my kid parading around in 2 cent slippers, I would go buy her a pair at Wal-Mart for $5. She doesn't need slippers. The only thing that ever happens when she wears slippers is that she forgets that she can't walk fast on the wood floors and usually ends up looking like she's trying to slide into 3rd base every blasted time she tries to go into the kitchen. She's going to hurt herself.

But really my complaint lies with the headbands. What exactly is the point in little kids wearing headbands to bed? Are you trying to make me flip out? What if that headband slips over her forehead, down around her neck, gets caught in a bed rail, and then Baby Shell (the doll my kid drags with her everywhere) shoves my kid out of bed (again)? She's going to choke! I just know it. Those headbands are a disaster waiting to happen. I am SHOCKED that there isn't a story on the news every single night about another headband incident.

OK, so she's probably not going to choke.

But.

In about 20 years? When she sees photos of herself wearing the headbands? I'M going to get choked. The kid is going to KILL ME for letting her prance around with a half yard of fabric wrapped around her follically-challenged head.

Please refer to the photos below and do something to prevent my future death at the hands of a pissed off young adult. I'm sure you will see that this is not a minor problem, but rather one that should be addressed swiftly. Preferably before Richard Simmons calls and asks for his headbands back.

Thank you,

The Lady Who is Tired of Spending 20 Minutes Every Night Searching for One of Those Stupid Headbands (or Watching Her Husband Perform the Same Search and Rescue Mission)