Fact: Men are born equipped with a filter that allows them to tune out 90% of what the female species says. I'm not exactly sure when the filter activates, but by the time men are in their 20's, the only words that get their attention are beer, (insert favorite sports team name here) news, sex, anything automotive, fire (oooooh, fire!), and probably fart. I have to add fart because I'm pretty sure that if you stand in the middle of a crowded street and yell, "FART!" all the men will turn and look. If anybody wants to test that theory, go ahead and let me know how it works out for you.

Mr. Husband is a man (trust me, I know these things) and came equipped with said filter. I wasn't aware of it's existence until after we were married, which is funny considering we dated for over six years before we decided people should give us gifts for carrying on the same as always. Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, weddings might activate that filter. Might.

Anyway, I am slowly coming to realize that the Toddler Version 2.5 (Dude. She turned 2 1/2 today. Oh.my.hells.bells time flies.) is smarter than me. She already knows about the man filter. Recently she has taken to making Mr. Husband feel like a jerk for not hearing what she says. A typical conversation around our house:

Toddler V2.5: Daddy, I want fruit snacks please.
*crickets*
Toddler V2.5: Daddy, I want fruit snacks!
*crickets*
Toddler V2.5: DADDY! I WANT FRUIT SNACKS!
Me: Alexis, here are some fruit snacks.
Toddler V2.5: NO! I tell Daddy!
Me: Here, hand these to your daughter.
*Mr. Husband stares at me blankly while handing fruit snacks to Toddler*
Toddler V2.5: Dank you, Daddy.

The same sort of thing happens in the car. For example, today we were kind enough to allow the child to eat popcorn in my car (a tale unto its own, let me tell ya'). When she decided she was done, this happened:

Toddler V2.5: Daddy, here.
*crickets*
Toddler V2.5: Daddy, here.
*crickets*
Me: I'll take the bag, Alexis.
Toddler V2.5: NO! I tell Daddy. Here, Daddy.
Me: Would you please take the bag of popcorn from her?

Miraculously (or because I bashed him over the head with my 30-pound purse), he listened and finally took the bag of popcorn from the persistent little creature in the back seat.

This little phenomenom of where she tells me, "NO! I tell Daddy," has been going on for several weeks. Mr. Husband has yet to figure out that it would be easier if he would just pay more attention to what she's saying. (In his defense, the girl doesn't EVER stop talking and generally doesn't care if anyone is paying attention. It's pretty easy to just tune her out and spare yourself the headache of trying to figure out how Dora and Boots have anything to do with the lellow car, blue house, and spinning.)

I might have to teach the kid to start every sentence with one of the magic words. I can hear it now, she'll be saying, "Daddy, *whispers* sex *regular voice* I need the car."

Somehow, I don't think it's going to work as well for her as it does me.