Once upon a time, there was a photographer who gave me what I thought were very wise nuggets of wisdom. He said that I should be sure to get portraits of The Toddler taken at 18 months of age because once she turned two, she would no longer be game for portrait taking festivities. I took his nuggets of wisdom to heart and made sure I got those 18-month portraits.

They were HELL.

HELL.

The Toddler wouldn't pose, she wouldn't sit, she wouldn't stand, she wouldn't anything. The only reason any portraits were purchased that day was because somewhere along the line, it became fun to play peek-a-boo by running around and around and around the background. That game of peek-a-boo required that I run around and around and around the background chasing The Toddler and that the photographer manage to snap a photo at exactly the right moment so as to avoid images of my booty jiggling as it chased a short somebody with an unbelievable amount of energy. Somehow, the portrait session was a success, although I nearly passed out from exhaustion right in the middle of the store.

The things we do to capture memories.

That portrait session was so bad that I didn't take The Toddler back again until around her second birthday. Considering that for her first year I took her monthly, that was quite the change in operations.

For her two-year portraits, I thought it would be wise to bring Mr. Husband along so that I could have a second parental unit helping to keep things under control. That didn't quite work out as expected. We'll just say it was an instance where Mommy's devil horns were in full display while Daddy stood around saying, "Do whatever you want, honey!" Looking back, it's not terribly surprising that things unfolded that way.

That brings us up to a few days ago.

I pulled into the driveway and realized the Shasta Daisies were in full bloom. I LURVE Shasta Daisies. I LURVE to pick Shasta Daisies and take them to Picture People for portraits with the kid. In fact, I had done it two years running. See:

Six-month portraits:

(Channeling her inner Jennifer Aniston.)

(Baby booties are the best!)

(She spent the entire portrait session eating flowers. It was fabulous.)

18-month portraits:

(Running.)

(Still running.)

(She looked at the camera? GOOD ENOUGH.)

OF COURSE I had to do it again. So, I picked out a white dress for The Toddler, picked a few dozen daisies, and drug our booties over to South Hills Village Mall fully expecting to be tortured for an hour.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THE KID IS WILLING TO HAVE HER PORTRAIT TAKEN NOW?

She sat. She posed. She smiled. She laughed. She made it REALLY FREAKIN' HARD to pick out just a couple of photos.

That moron that told me to make sure I got 18-month portraits because Two wouldn't be happening? Needs clubbed with a 2x4.