Oh, Wonderful Parents of Pittsburgh, we need to talk. You see, I've been noticing a pattern and it's really not pleasant. Maybe it happens everywhere, but I only have personally been affected by it here. People, you have GOT to quit letting your kids be crack addicts.

Here's the thing, I have, over the past 2 years or so, ended up with many, many photos containing crack. Not because I wanted them, but because there are far too many kids running around with their pants riding lower than Phelps swimsuit during that relay the other night. Recently I have downloaded photos to my trusty little laptop only to find that otherwise kick butt photos have been invaded by, well, BUTT.

Example #1:

I'm sorry if that is your kid, but I have at least ten photos of his crack. It was EVERYWHERE that day. I managed to walk away with a few decent shots despite the crack, but OYE THE CRACK. The thing is that the kid was wearing swim trunks that haven't fit him since he started walking. He couldn't button them. Heck, he couldn't zip them. The only thing holding those pants on was the fact that he was a boy. I SOOOO badly wanted to go buy the kid a pair of $5 swim trunks, if only so I could stop seeing his booty in all its glory.

I had let that little crack attack go, but then it happened again this past weekend. What was a really fun little photo op with the Toddler turned into a game of I See London, I See France, I See That Kid Ain't Wearing Underpants.

Seriously. Full moon. Despite the fact that Crackher scared the poop out of my kid and ruined every. single. photo I took for about ten minutes, I felt bad for her. There were no parents with her anywhere. Not at the seal statues, not at the leopard area, not at the front entrance. She was running around unparented. So while her crack is a serious issue, I suspect step one might just be for a parent to actually look at her. Maybe, just maybe, the crack attack would come to an end if they realized that she would need to gain 20 pounds for those shorts to fit.

I wish these were the only instances of crack in the Burgh that I have photos of, but they are not. They are just the only ones from the past month. So, Pittsburgh Parents, please help me out. Cover those cracks.

Thank you.