It has been an "interesting" summer for the Bully Baby. Our dear Megara, she of very mild seasonal allergies and generally excellent health, has spent the summer pretending to be a volcano of goop and a black hole of misery. Her eyes have been all sorts of gross, her fur has been falling out in spots, and in general it seemed that four years with hardly any allergy problems was a fluke. She has been a Hot Mess.

When it became obvious that a few doses of Benadryl wasn't going to cut it, it was off to the vet where we were scolded for not keeping her allergies treated well enough. (To that I reply with a reminder that she has never needed more than ten allergy pills per year, but whatever.) Doses were upped, frequency was maintained, and . . . nothing.

It didn't help at all.

So, another trip to the vet. This time it decided that it was a case of allergies gone wild. The vet figured her allergies had gotten out of control resulting in infections. Eye drops were added to the already insane Benadryl regime.

And nothing. Still with the goopy, disgusting, make-me-vomit eyes.

So this morning Mr. Husband took Meg to the vet again. For the record, our beloved English Bulldog at the vet is a lot like a baby whale out of water. Or a 50-pound bowling ball with spastic legs. Or a toddler after eating thirty pounds of candy. SHE'S FREAKING INSANE. You can't make her stand on the table, which is sort of necessary considering she only stands about 20 inches off the ground. It usually takes half the vet clinic's staff just to pin her down to give her a shot. Trying to check out her eyes? HAHAHAHAHA! That ain't happening.

Today the vet attempted to look at her eyes, gave up, suggested more eye drops, and set a deadline. If the goop doesn't stop in the next couple of weeks? He's going to have to sedate her and figure out what about her eyelid is causing her eye to be all pissed off.

His hunch? She needs plastic surgery.

Sorry, but with a face like this? Where exactly do you start with the plastic surgery?

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In case you hadn't heard, we're donating all September ad revenue to the Flight 93 Memorial Fund. Your clicks mean more money, so perhaps you would like to know how the howdy Mr. Husband ever managed to convince me to get an English Bulldog in the first place?