I won't tell you why exactly I have been on the mission (that's a story for another day), but lately I've been trying to find an old school Dora doll. It turns out that task is nowhere near as simple as it sounds. Just a short year ago, I know for a fact that Toys 'R Us and Target had dedicated long aisles to the Latina Whore. There were Legos and dolls and carriages and houses and figurines and clothes and every imaginable toy donning her football-shaped head.

Not any more.

I don't know how this miracle has come about, but Dora seems to be losing some of her grip on the retail universe. She has now been relegated to a meager four-foot wide display everywhere you go. That's approximately 58 feet less space than she used to have. Two years too late, if you ask me, but still, reason to celebrate!

Happy Dance! (Quick, somebody tell the Toddler Dora ain't cool anymore. Please?)

Anyway, I had all but given up on my old school Dora hunt. I had already drug Mr. Husband to at least three stores and he was very seriously questioning my sanity. Well, OK, so he's always questioning my sanity, but this time he was eying white coats in my size.

And then we went for a bike ride by The Beach where we happened upon this little scene:

A closer look:

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING!

I swear on a pile of gummy worms, there was a Dora doll lying on the cement totally unattended. It looked as if she had gone for a swim, nearly drowned, been rescued, then left for dead.

I don't know which one of you made a Dora fall from the heavens right into my lap, but THANK YOU! I shall clean her and clothe her and give her a home. BWAHAHAHAHA!