Alexis sat in the middle of a sea of tiny people and furniture, happily playing with her dollhouse. The good news is that she's had that dollhouse over a year and still loves it. The bad news is that she's had that dollhouse over a year and the damn thing still makes noise.

"Ding dong," the thing shouted as Alexis pushed the doorbell button.

"WROOF WROOOOOOOF," Meg loudly responded.

"Mommy, Meg's barking," Alexis reported. I'm glad she did, too, because I totally didn't hear the deep Bulldog barks that were so loud the windows shook.

"Ding dong," the dollhouse said again.

"WROOOOF WROOOOOOOF WROOOOOOOOOF," Meg retorted. Again.

"She's still doing it," Alexis said.

"Ding dong." AGAIN.

"WROOOOOOOF WROOOOOOOF WROOOOOOOF." AGAIN.

"Mommy! Meg is still barking!" Alexis reported.

Sensing that this little pattern could very well go on for hours (or until I flipped out from a severe case of The Crazies), I walked over towards Alexis.

"Ding dong." The kid had lost the ability to keep her finger off the doorbell.

"WROOOOOF WROOOOOF WROOOOOOOF," Meg responded. She apparently had lost the ability to think. She was standing right next to the dollhouse, but still didn't have the sense to realize that the doorbell sound wasn't an indication that a living being was going to walk through the front door. . . . Unless the living being was the size of a flea and marching in our carpet . . . Maybe she imagined that there was a whole army of tiny little people dancing the Macarena and high-stepping their way through the dollhouse door.

"Mommy, Meg won't stop barking," Alexis tattled.

"Ding dong."

"WROOF WROOOOF WROOOOOF."

"Ding dong."

"WROOOOOOF WROOOOF WROOOOOOF."

"Mommy, Meg is barking."

Finally I interrupted and told everyone that I'd heard enough noise. As I managed a glimpse into Alexis' eyes, I could see pure devious joy. It was the look of a kid who had just found the strings to a puppet and was now enjoying making the puppet dance.

A glance at Meg reinforced that Alexis was right. As I looked into Meg's eyes, I realized there really isn't anything going on inside that thick skull.

"Mommy, watch. I can make Meg bark if I push this button," Alexis said.

Heaven help us all if that kid ever decides to use her powers for evil.