If your husband decides he needs to see the Steelers choke on their season live and in person, leaving you alone with a small child, the small child will eventually turn to you and say, "You're smelly. Take a shower."

After you do the pit sniff thing and realize that the small child may have a point, you will decide to head upstairs. Before you go, you might ask the small child what she's going to do while you take a shower. If she reports, "I going to sit here and relax," BEWARE.

It's a trap.

Just as you manage to fully emerge yourself in sudsy bubbles, the shower curtain will burst open as the small child yells, "I has something important to tell you!" Your eyes will fly open, soap will immediately flood your eyeballs, your arms will flail causing bottles to go flying, shampoo will shoot out of the flying bottles and wind up on the ceiling, you'll smack your head on the shower wall as you try to rinse the soap from your eyes, and the dogs will start barking at all of the commotion.

As you stand there naked, blind, cold, and rocking a wondrous new headache, you will finally regain your composure long enough to ask the small child what she needs to tell you.

"I have brown hair just like Belle!" she will excitedly report.

Not that I would know anything about all of that.

Ahem.