I didn't have Barbies growing up. Nor did I care. I wouldn't have known what to do with them, other than to rip off their heads and throw them in the back of the closet. That's what tomboys do, you know.

You would think that the resident girlie girl would know what to do with them. She wanted them. I found a set of 6 on clearance at Target for $17, so she got them. And yet, the only thing they ever do is sleep. Face down. On the floor.

They might have been better off in a tomboys house.