We've been insanely fortunate, so far, in that Alexis hasn't let loose any "colorful" language. Although, I don't really know why it's a big deal to me. As someone educated in translation, I know that words only have power if you give it to them. If you opt not to be offended by a particular word, you won't be offended. On the other hand, I think it takes mucho brains to find ways around using certain four-letter words. I can argue either side of the whole thing for hours.

Yet, I find myself creating a laundry list of taboo words. It's just so damn fun to have a kid yell at you because you said "stupid," despite having lectured that kid that it's "not nice to call people stupid." And, oh, is Alexis willing to tell you if you've used a word that is forbidden. You should sit in the car when she listens to P!nk sing Stupid Girl.

"Momma! She said stupid!"

"Momma! She said stupid again! That's not a nice word!"

"Momma! She said stupid!"

She tattles each and every time P!nk sings the word "stupid." All 4,591 times. To the point that you can't even hear the song. At all. It's fantastic how her need to tattle overwhelms her knowledge that she is -not- supposed to use that word.

(Don't ask why I still let that song play on occasion. I have no idea, other than that I really don't make sense to even me sometimes.)

Since I pretty much always have the Foul Language Police with me, I'm pretty good about catching myself. I can't say I'm perfect, but hey, she hasn't cussed yet, so I must not be doing all that bad.

Mr. Husband, however, likes to push his luck. I'm DYING for her to catch him and repeat something for no other reason than so I can kick his ass. It IS going to happen. I just hope it happens before I slip and she repeats something I said.

Tonight as we were making a quick run to the pet store, Mr. Husband slipped. In fantastic fashion. We had the dogs with us, and Cody, as usual, was acting like a goofus and trying to sit on top of the arm rest between the seats. Mr. Husband got annoyed because Cody's . . . um . . . "junk" rubbed up against his arm. Mr. Husband lashed out.

"Cody! Get your pee-pee Penis off me."

I instantly jumped on my Nagasawki and started shooting death rays out of my eyes. I don't know why. There is nothing wrong with the word "penis." Really. Nothing.

Except.

Except that Alexis immediately chimed in with her high-pitched, syrupy sweet little toddler voice.

"Pee-pee penis?" she asked.

Try not to laugh at that. Go ahead. Try.

I succeeded in not laughing. Mr. Husband did not. He giggled like a goober for a solid five minutes.

So, when Alexis screams, "PEE-PEE PENIS!" in the middle of the grocery store one of these days, you better believe I'm whipping out this blog post and sternly reminding Mr. Husband that it is ALL HIS FAULT.