If you had asked me when I was 20 if I planned to have kids, I probably would have given you a very non-committed sort of "maybe" answer. I honestly didn't know at that time what I wanted, I just knew that the only way to live was to live for the present day. It's a sort of survival instinct I picked up early on, and I've always been pretty focused on making sure I get the most out of Today since there may not be a Tomorrow. That's not to say that I don't plan for the future, just that I try to eke a little happiness out of each and every moment.

At that time I didn't see how a kid or two or ten could possibly do anything to make Today any better than it was. Traveling the world, staying up all night, and being free to randomly make decisions without worrying about anyone else seemed like the right way to go.

Obviously, I was an idiot when I was 20.

In just three short years, Alexis has turned my life upside-down. I've ditched one career path for another that keeps me home, instead of traveling the world on someone else's dime. Decisions are now made based on what is best for her, and sometimes that means not going with my first choice. My life undoubtedly revolves around her.

Which is pretty much exactly how I like it.

I got to thinking about all of this earlier today when I picked Alexis up from daycare. I had to abandon a muy importante project at work, a project that in the pre-Alexis days I would have stayed at work for hours to finish, a project that I really wanted to knock out immediately. I rushed through pouring rain over to daycare just in time to pick Alexis up before it closed, thinking about how it kind of sucked that I couldn't just use my awesome mental powers to beam her little butt over to my office so I could keep working.

As we walked out to the car together, hand-in-hand, Alexis commented on the rain. "Look, momma! It's raining really hard!" she said excitedly.

"Yes, it is," I said in a much more subdued tone. The rain had annoyed me all day. I'm greedy and want 75 and sunny every single day.

Alexis continued, "It's raining and the sun is going to come out and IT'S GOING TO MAKE A RAINBOW!!!!" she practically cheered.

If you had told me at 20 that I would need a 3-year old to remind me to live for the moment and find joy in what is right in front of me, I would have thought you were wrong.

I was such an idiot when I was 20.

Thank you, Alexis.