I do like our daycare. Sometimes people there make me insane, but overall it's a good, safe, positive environment for Alexis. It's just that once in a while, something completely stupid will happen there and I am forced to blow my top.

Take, for example, a few weeks ago when Alexis came home all sorts of upset with a particular teacher. Let's call her Mean Bird Lady because she just HAD to go and make fun of Alexis in the worst way possible. You see, Miss Alexis has this thing about birds. Like, she hates them. A lot. To the point that I'm pretty sure she already needs some major therapy. So, telling Alexis that her funky rainbow ponytail holder makes her look like there is a peacock on her head? Causes tears, tantrums, and weeks of sleeplessness. Seriously. The kid has had nightmares about a peacock being on her head.

Gee, thanks, Mean Bird Lady. Can I punch you in the face now? Please?

Even better, though, is that apparently Mean Bird Lady has decided to make it a habit to mock 3-year olds for their choice of attire. Or, I suppose, their parents' choice of attire (I am, after all, the one who bought the crazy rainbow ponytail holder). That would be the case with one of Alexis' classmates who showed up for school wearing an Obama t-shirt. Apparently Mean Bird Lady has a little bit of a problem with letting people openly have a different political opinion than her because she made the 3-year old turn her shirt inside out.

Uh-huh.

Now, the shirt got fixed not long after, so apparently someone had enough of a clue to figure out that making a kid bawl by forcing her to wear her shirt wrong might just be a teensy bit out of line. Or, you know. WAY FREAKIN OUT OF LINE.

*Ahem*

(Just so we're clear, I don't care if the shirt had Obama on it, Cheney, Bush, a Clinton, Palin, Reagan, or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it ain't cool to impose your political beliefs on somebody else's kid. Period.) (Also? I'm really not a fan of imposing one's political beliefs on your own kid. Putting an Obama t-shirt on your little kid is kind of squicky to me, too, but at least it's THEIR kid. So, whatever.)

Anyhoo, once I got the whole story of the Inside-Out-Obama-Shirt, my head went KABLOOOOOOIE! There were discussions. There was talking. Now it's done and over with and it's very clear to anyone who needs to know that you don't openly criticize my kid's (sometimes very odd) fashion choices. Or else.

The only thing is that I'm one to hold grudges. Like, bad. So, when I put two and two together and realized that Mean Bird Lady was the very same teacher who was having a little wedding party at daycare this week, I started plotting. In evil, mean, inappropriate ways. We had several notes from daycare requesting that we send a small kitchen-related gift to school for that teacher on the day of the party.

I wanted Obama gear.

BAD.

Towels, wine glasses, a cookbook, I didn't care. Anything with Obama's face on it. If I couldn't have that, then I wanted something with a peacock on it. Seriously. I searched online and, with the help of many awesome people, found many excellent options. The only problem was that I couldn't get them delivered in time for the party.

Stupid geography interfered with my evil plotting.

In the end, I ended up procrastinating too much and had to do an emergency run to Wal-Mart to scrounge up some sort of something. Didja' know that Wal-Mart is Anti-American? I can't think of any other reason that I couldn't find a single thing with Obama's face on it. No t-shirts, no buttons, no posters, no books, NOTHING. C'mon! There are eleventy bajillion things made with his face and Wal-Mart didn't have any of them? I smell a communist conspiracy.

Stupid Wal-Mart.

Then I learned that Wal-Mart is Anti-American AND Anti-NBC. There wasn't a single freakin' peacock thing in that entire store. I don't know what NBC did to Wal-Mart, but it must have been pretty bad for them to go all anti-peacock like that.

I had to settle for a lame cookbook. No Obama, no peacock. No fun.

But probably at least 301% more mature.