She did it! She did it! She did it! I didn't think she would, but she did it!

Today was Alexis' little end of semester show at dance class. It's not the kind of thing where all the kids stand on stage and participate in a big production, but instead a lot more low key. It's just like a regular class, except that the parents and guests get to sit in chairs inside the room. No matter, the kid is not a fan of being watched by strangers, so I fully expected her to be all, "Oh, you're funny if you think I'm going in there with all those people." I predicted tears, clinginess, and general fear, but it was not delivered. She did it! Even all her solo dances!

Wooohooooo!

Even more impressive, I DID IT! I survived! I didn't stab anyone with a spork!

I've tried to just keep my general annoyance with some of the moms at dance class to myself, but OMG. I deserve a cookie for not punching a couple of them. Really. Let's just say that if any of the following things are true about you, you MAKE ME INSANE:

* If your kid is running around smashing toys against walls and you deal with it by yelling, "Stop it or we're leaving," but then immediately turn back to the very deep conversation you were having about manicures, without regard for the fact that the kid is now throwing the toys at people, I'm annoyed. I'm especially annoyed that it happens EVERY DAMN WEEK.

* If your kid gets evicted from dance class every week for hitting, punching, shoving, or otherwise causing bodily harm to the other kids in the class (who are significantly smaller than your punk-ass hooligan), please don't ignore the whole thing. More so, don't say that it's the teacher's fault. "He's good for me. She just doesn't know how to control wild kids." Your kid is well on his way to becoming a serial killer. Need I remind you that he broke his little brother's arm earlier in the year? Escalation, people. Escalation. You might want to lock up your family pets now.

* If your kid goes running out the door and into the street, I may feel inclined to (honestly) nicely ask him to please wait for you. If he turns to me and yells, "NO. YOU SHUT UP," before running out in front of a car? Your kid sucks. And so do you.

* If you spend every single minute of every single class not paying any attention whatsoever to the kid that you have in that class, instead choosing to gossip on and on and on and on with other parents while your non-dancing spawn run wild, but then shove people out of your way to be front and center for the show? I want to punch you in the mommy buttons, especially since your damn head is in nearly every one of my photos and your yammering is a voice over for my video. I always wanted video of you talking about how you dropped a deuce in the delivery room when you had your 4th kid, by the way. THANKS. The very graphic details you described while my kid was walking on stage to get her award are . . . touching. Or something.

Years from now, I'll look back at our home videos, filled with pride that a tiny little 3-year old Alexis fought through her shyness and rocked her dance class performance. I might even feel a little jab of pride for myself. I hung in there for 20+ weeks, stuck in a room with The Cheetos Pooper and her best buddy.