Alexis has discovered her super power. It took her three years, four months, and eleven days to do it, but she has most definitely found it.

I probably could have predicted the whole thing. Back when she was nine months old and started saying real words, that was most definitely a sign. When she was speaking in complete sentences at fifteen months, it was more than a clue. I don't remember exactly when I started saying it, but I've pretty much always thought that if Alexis' eyes are open, so is her mouth (unless, of course, a stranger is around--Michigan J. Frog is her hero).

I had no idea, though. No idea.

The kid has discovered that she does not require oxygen to survive. It's true. She can go from early in the morning until late in the evening without taking a single breath. She just talksandtalksandtalksandtalksandtalksandtalksandtalks. And talks.

She kicked it into overdrive last week. Since then, she has mastered the art of irritation through non-stop noise. She has not taken a breath during waking hours all. freakin. week.

Once upon a time I took smug satisfaction in her language skills. There were many people in our lives who were dubious of our decision to teach the kid sign language starting at six months. Some were convinced it would prevent her from learning to talk, so each time Alexis went into a long diatribe, it was like, "Oh, really?" Yeah, I'm over that.

Friday night the three of us were walking through the mall. Alexis was all, "Why is that pink? Is this the mall? Look, there's Mommy's store! Where is the Mickey Store? Can I have Minnie flip-flops? Why is that girl jumping? Where is Cody? There's a yellow shirt over there. Can I watch High School Musical tonight? Coach yelled at Mr. Bolton." and on and on and on. She unleashed a steady stream of conscious, never once pausing to breathe, but freaking out if someone neglected to answer one of her bajillion questions. It's so fun how she doesn't pause for an answer, but if you don't answer, she repeats the same thing over and over and over and over and over, louder and louder and louder and louder until your brain explodes and some gray matter with the answer she wanted splats in her face.

As we passed the food court, I had an idea. I rummaged through my pockets and found the $4 I so desperately needed. I hauled Alexis down to the smoothie store and gave her free reign over whatever she wanted. Mr. Husband looked at me and started laughing, continuing on with some sort of comment about how Super Mom had finally lost her cool. Yes, yes I did. I bought the kid a $4 smoothie for no reason other than I knew I would get 60 seconds of silence while she sucked up that first taste. It was a beautiful 60 seconds. A momentous and wonderful 60 seconds. I liked that 60 seconds.

It took Alexis three years, four months, and eleven days to truly find a way to annoy me. I see a lot of smoothies in our future.