I'm no social media "expert," but I can absolutely tell you one guaranteed way of driving traffic to your site: hold some sort of ranking contest. It is a sure-fire method for getting some page views. If you want to be extra successful, target Mommybloggers. Say that your list is the "Best Mommybloggers" or "Hottest Mommybloggers" or "Most Influential Mommybloggers." Heck, you could call it "Mommybloggers Who Have Vaginas." It won't matter, someone who you put on that list will pay attention and she will send some web traffic your way.

As for selecting the people to list? Maybe that sounds like a lot of work, but it doesn't need to be. Just randomly pick some people. It really doesn't matter who you select. It's all entirely subjective, and no matter who you put on it, somebody will get her panties in a bunch. (Psst. . . that actually works to your advantage. When Mommybloggers think someone has been left off of a list, they get all riled up and talk about that list even more than they would have if they had agreed with it.)

Once you have your list of contenders, make sure you tell them that they're on it. Make it sound like it's a Extra Special Thing. One or two of them will quickly run to put your badge on their site, and WOOHOO! You just managed to get free advertising! Even better, somebody will write a post all about that contest. In some circles that would be called a "Sponsored Post." You could pay several hundred or even thousands of dollars for that kind of exposure, but you won't have to because those Mommybloggers are a competitive bunch. They'll post your link on twitter, Facebook, email it to everyone they know, and even talk about it. They'll do all kinds of crazy stuff at no charge, all in the name of "winning" your contest.

While you're getting all that free exposure for your site, take a minute and see if you can't sell some advertising on your site. You know, charge other people money to put their crap on your site. While those Mommybloggers will do that kind of stuff for free, you shouldn't. Instead, turn every vote into cash with ads that pay based on impressions. If you want to be extra slick, make the contest real long, like maybe two months. Tell people they can only vote once per day, but then only pretend to really enforce that rule. Somebody will surely figure out how to block the cookie that stops unlimited voting, and they'll sit there for hours and hours, racking up the page views. Each vote is money in your pocket. Ka-ching!

When the contest is all over, make some sort of lame announcement and start letting people make nominations for the next year. Oh yes, you can pull this stunt every year. New Mommybloggers are always coming around, so you'll be able to literally make buckets of cash off their naivety. The best part is that you won't even have to give any sort of prize. Instead, just make up some sort of badge and watch as the winner proudly posts that sucker on her website, giving you yet another magic hit at the free advertising fountain.

Yes, I see right through this crap. And yes, I've been playing right into the game by linking to that site WAY more than I should. Usually I'm good about ignoring this kind of stuff. For example, I never really mentioned the whole thing where Nielsen named me a Top 50 Power Mom (and, yes, that Nielsen). That sort of thing doesn't matter. It doesn't validate what I'm doing in this space, it doesn't make buckets of money magically fall from the sky, and it doesn't make this site any better than any one of the millions of other sites like it. That kind of junk is a big, fat joke.

What does matter is that I know that if I write about something important, y'all will respond. I happen to think you are some of the most amazing people on this planet. You've helped raise money for the Flight 93 Memorial. 20+ of you joined me in the March for Maddie, raising over $5000 for the March of Dimes. Who knows what charity I'll focus on next, but I know you will respond. You are that kind of phenomenal.

Now, if you wouldn't mind continuing with the phenomenal, I could use your vote over here. There is a reason I've given away ad space that I would usually charge over $150 for, and a reason I've linked to that site many times. That reason isn't a good one, but there you go. Vote every day until July 15th, please. I want to win.

I'm no better than any other overly competitive Mommyblogger out there.