I'm outnumbered. There are two animal-loving freaks in this house, and just one semi-sane version of me. I predicted long ago that those two would eventually gang up on me, and now here I am--on the bottom of the kitty pile.

I probably started it. While we were at a local pet store grabbing some supplies for the Saltwater Tank of Horrors, I veered over to the kitten kennel to let Alexis play with the wee little kitties for a few minutes. She is her father's daughter, so of course she loved the feisty little buggers. Within moments she was giggling and carrying on about how she wanted one.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

Fast forward a few weeks, and we found ourselves at PetSmart. PetSmart hates me, so they made sure to have tons of kittens hanging out right where Alexis would see them. She sprinted over to them, laughing, giggling, grinning, and pulling every kid trick there is when it comes to getting your way. Then she started in with the heavy guns, "I fink we need free kitties." She paused. "Please?" Her voice dripped with sweetness.

It took me a minute to figure out what she meant, but then I got it. Free = Three. She was asking to get another cat. Two + One = Three. It also equals NOOOOO.

Fast forward a few more weeks, and we went through the fuzzy kitty coos again. Alexis is the master of knowing how to manipulate me. She has manners, and she knows exactly when to use them. She also has laser eyes that can slice through my resilience. Not that it helped her any.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

Somewhere along the way, I accidentally mentioned the whole thing to Mr. Husband. He correctly pointed out that my main excuse for putting the ka-bash on the animal acquisitioning was the amount of available space in our townhome. Without thinking, I said, "Yeah, I guess we'll have plenty of space once we move."

Now there are two of them pestering me for a kitten. One of them claims he's not in it for the kitten, but that he just wants to make the other one happy. One of them is such a liar, liar pants on fire.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

If I say it enough, maybe I can maintain my Meanie Face long enough for the two of them to quit asking.