Armed with an eclectic shopping list and a very tiny budget, Alexis and I set our sights on the only store that fit the bill--IKEA. There is nowhere else on Earth where you can shop for a fridge, towels, furniture, rugs, lights, storage junk, and cinnamon rolls and somehow manage to leave with a few pennies in your pocket. It's an invitation to a trip to the insane asylum when you try to assemble your cheap crap, but the cinnamon rolls pretty much make up for that. Sort of.

We walked up and down the aisles, me gawking at every organizational wonder known to man. I don't know why little cubbies for dresser drawers that keep your socks from touching your undies is so exciting to me, but there you go. I am an organizational wonder geek-extraordinaire.

We grabbed some whatsits, some whosits, and some thingamajigs, and then headed towards the toys. There are a few things that I would like to add to Alexis' playroom some day, and it never hurts to start price comparing early (Right? RIGHT.). Alexis totally missed the swing that can be hung indoors from the ceiling (only $15!), the easel that would fill her little artist heart with joy (only $25!), and the super-cute table and chair set that would perfectly match her play kitchen (only $50!) and instead focused intently on a stuffed Bulldog. That we already have. I don't even know why we have it, considering we have a real-life smelly version of a Bulldog. Alexis followed me around, pleading for the Bulldog that she already owns, while I expertly ignored every word that came out of her mouth.

We headed towards the bathroom junk, and I started fondling towel racks and funky shelves and trash cans and mirrors and all sorts of stuff that shouldn't be fun but totally is. Alexis finally decided that she was wasting her breath on the Bulldog begging and instead started singing and dancing in the aisle.

As I dug through never-ending shelves filled with oddly-named trinkets, Alexis paused in her jiggity jig to start asking what things were. I opted to answer her by telling her the IKEA name for the thing, and she started giggling over words like "Semvik," "Fryken," and "Gruntdal." That was followed by her starting to create her own names for things. She made up words like, "Fartna," "Boogerka," and "Slogna."

As she continued to giggle at her own jokes, she reached down and grabbed a toilet paper holder. She held it up for me to see, locked eyes with me, and said in a stone-cold serious tone, "Momma, this will change your life."

Seriously.

Either someone has been watching too much High School Musical, or IKEA has the kid on the bankroll. I hope it's the latter because that employee discount sure would come in handy right about now.