She says she wants two boys and one girl. In an excited tone that proves that the kid truly hates me, Alexis claims that she wants three younger siblings, and she wants them all at once. Triplets.

That's what she says. It's not what she means.

Alexis does love babies. A lot. When I told her earlier in the week that Jack would be coming to visit yesterday, she was excited. VERY excited. When I dropped a few other names, she was even more excited. She spent the entire week telling me how it was almost Saturday, and how she had toys for Jack and the rest of the crew to enjoy. She even spent an hour picking through a bunch of her old toys deciding which ones were just right for the babies.

She's such a liar.

The very second the first kid showed up for the house warming type thing, Alexis froze, as if we were playing freeze tag and she was afraid to even breathe. As Alex eagerly descended on the glorious stash of toys, Alexis slowly backed up. And backed up. And backed up. Finally, she found her way into the open closet where she stayed.

For a long time.

If no one was paying attention, she would resume playing, but always in a sort of slow-motion sort of way. It's like she was afraid that if she moved too fast, somebody might realize she was there. Every once in a while I would drop-in on the playroom to check on her, and every time she would whisper, "The kids are playing with my toys."

"It's very nice of you to share," I would reply.

"Yeah," she would respond, in a hushed, suspicious tone. Basically, she was pretty much saying, "THIS IS NOT OK. MAKE IT STOP. HOW THE FRIKKITY FRACK DO I MAKE THEM ALL DISAPPEAR?"

She survived the night, as did all of her toys. Seriously, I didn't hear about a single real battle over anything, and nothing was broken. It looked like someone had thrown a grenade in the room, but that was to be expected.

This morning Alexis and I went back into the war zone to pick it up a bit. As she helped me carefully place things back in their appropriate places, she asked, "Where are my kids?"

"They all had to go home," I replied.

"Oh," she replied. She followed with, "OK," as she rearranged the spoons and forks in her kitchen bin.

"Maybe we should get you some baby brothers and sisters so they can play with your toys all the time," I replied. I looooove torturing that kid.

Her head snapped to attention, her eyes locked on mine, and she said, "I don't fink so," with the ferocity of a lion.

Heh.