I don't care what anyone says, Crocs are fugly. Actually, that would be an insult to the fugly of the world. Crocs are hideous, horrendous, awful, and quite possibly the most repulsive shoes ever invented. I'm sure Lady Gaga could find something even uglier, but if we're limiting the conversation to shoes worn by actual humans, Crocs win the Ugly Contest. By a mile.
But.
I do see a purpose in them. Not for me, of course. I'd rather wear concrete blocks shaped like Dora's head on my feet than a pair of Crocs, but they do make sense for people who work on their feet all day. They also make sense for kids. They're comfortable, they can be cheap, and the whole thing where you can take a hose to them when your kid yaks on her feet after overdosing on Tootsie Rolls is pretty darn sweet.
Last year Alexis pretty much lived in a couple of different pairs of Crocs. They were outlet store clearance acquisitions, so as much as looking at them made me sporky, my cheap side won out on the deal.
This year I returned to the Crocs Outlet with Alexis in tow, figuring I would let her pick out a few more pair. This is the first summer that she has been full-time with the "big" kids at daycare, so it's the first time I've really had to worry about the no open-toed shoes rule that was instituted after some wonderful child managed to rip a toenail off while playing on the big kid playground. As much as it drives me nuts that the answer to one little accident is to ban open-toed shoes completely (Gee, I heard a kid once fell off a swing and got hurt--maybe we should just ban all swings everywhere. OR NOT.), it's not really a rule worth fighting. If kids show up wearing open-toed shoes, they are banished to staying indoors with the little kids. I may enjoy letting my kid torture other people, but I don't enjoy it that much. It's simpler just to make the kid wear close-toed shoes. Crocs fit the bill.
Somehow the stars aligned and those new Crocs weren't really making it into the daily shoe rotation. Instead, tennis shoes and ballet flats seemed to be getting the kid through summer. At some point, I even went so far as to pack up the Crocs while I was packing up shoes that weren't actively being worn. A few days ago I finally unpacked them.
Holy strong reaction, Batman!
Alexis looked at the Crocs.
Alexis looked at me.
Alexis looked at the Crocs.
Alexis looked at me.
Alexis started bawling.
"I don't wanna wear Crocs!" she wailed.
"Why not?" I asked. I don't really know why I ask these things. Usually they answer is just plain ridiculous.
"I don't wanna wear Crocs!" she wailed again.
"Your friends like to wear Crocs," I replied. (Yeah, I know. I need punched for that line. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. Besides, it's 100% true. Trouble, for example, wears Crocs almost every day.)
"I DON'T WANNA WEAR CROCS!" Alexis repeated. Louder.
"Your tennis shoes are dirty and I can't find your ballet shoes. Just wear the Crocs," I insisted.
"But they make my feet ugly," Alexis wailed.
She has a point, but how did she get to be so smart?
