I spend a great deal of my time walking around confused. It's pretty much a constant state of being for me. A great deal of the blame for that state of being can be attributed to the short person who does random weird stuff daily. Like this:

For most kids, torn up knees wouldn't be a big deal, but that is Alexis' knobby knee, so THAT IS WEIRD. The kid has not destroyed a pair of pants in . . . actually, I can't remember. It's been a long time since I started praying to the Church of Gap, and since then she has outgrown stuff long before she has destroyed it. She just doesn't tear up her clothes (Exception: Target or Children's Place clothes--those last two wears and then fall to pieces at our house.).

More bizarre, those were new jeans. She had only worn them once before, so it wasn't like they should have been beat up. I asked Alexis what happened.

"I took a nap," she said.

There were about fifteen things wrong with her response. First, I had to quiz the kid to determine that her definition of "nap" and my definition of "nap" are not at all the same. My definition is superior because it involves actual sleep, but whatever. I asked more questions to figure out how you tear up both knees on a pair of pants by lying around on a cot for an hour or so. I never got an answer better than she "took a nap and fell off the cot." The thing is that her "cot" is really just a mat and sits no more than an inch off the floor. Apparently her cot was hungry and decided denim looked yummy.

The good news is that the universe heard my annoyance at the little incident. I didn't pay much for the ripped up pants because, well, I refuse to pay much for anything, which is exactly why I wound up trolling the clearance rack at Kids Gap again today.

Looky what I found!

Before you get too impressed, please note that all clearance at that Gap was an extra 40% off. Those jeans? Were $5.38. I found four pair in four different styles. I AM A SHOPPING NINJA.

Good thing, since apparently my kid's nap cot is out to get her.