Day Three Hundred Twenty

Mila likes to sing. A LOT. If she's awake, her mouth is moving and usually it's because she's stringing together notes and words and it's adorable.

Mostly.

Sometimes it super isn't adorable because she doesn't care if she doesn't know all of the words to a song. She will repeat one line from a song in a loop forever and ever and ever and ever. I can handle such a thing about 400 times, but once we get to 401, I lose it. I generally try to get her to sing another song or disrupt her in some way, but tonight she got stuck singing exactly one line from "Buss It" by Erica Banks and ugh. UGH. That on top of this ridiculous thing where people are taking to Facebook to complain about COVID restrictions and act like the Governor is being a jerk for wanting them to be safe and...

I'm out of patience with everybody. It just is. It is not Mila's fault; she was just the whipped cream on the sundae of annoying that was topped by dozens of cherries posted by literal idiots who are mad that they've been told not to murder their friends and family by having a large gathering for the Superbowl.

ANYWAY.

I didn't have the patience to listen to "Buss It" for over an hour, so I asked Mila a simple question, "How do you think I feel about you singing that same line over and over?"

Mila, in all of her infinite wisdom, said, "I think you think it's pretty."

No, child. NO.

"Mila, do you think that might be annoying?" I continued.

Mila beamed from ear-to-ear and replied, "Probably!" before resuming again.

I rolled my eyes. You do have to appreciate her energy for everything in life. But it was still annoying. So, I said, "You're very good at being annoying. Please stop."

"Thank you!" Mila replied before going right back to doing all of the annoying things.

I was caught off guard. "Thank you?" How was that her response? And so I asked.

Mila's response is basically the thing we all need to print out and hang on our fridges. "I don't like it when people say mean things to me so I pretend it's a compliment."

She wins this round.

Day Three Hundred Nineteen

And on this day, I owe that one employee at Phipps an apology. Please understand, this tiny creature is subject to emotional outbursts and is easily saddened immediately after moments of great joy and vice versa. Basically, she's a yo-yo of feeling. But you knew that.

The thing is that Phipps is currently operating with a one-way path all through the greenhouses and such. That means that if you want to go from one side to the other, you basically have to join the beaten path and stroll as if you were a visitor. That's the explanation for why we've had a Phipps employee stuck behind us through half the place multiple times.

I mean, we go there every two weeks, so it's hard to say what's common. I just know it's common for us.

ANYWAY. This time we ended up with a very polite woman who was wearing a Phipps name badge stuck behind us all the way through five or so rooms. She was very respectfully maintaining a good distance and I'm sure she would have liked to pass us, but there's not really space. And so, she followed.

She followed as Mila stopped to look and throw happiness towards every freakin' cactus in the cactus room. It's all fine and dandy, but we've been there a few thousand times at this point. There is nothing new to see, child. Carry on. Ooooor ... go ahead and through verbal confetti at every single plant. It's fine.

From the cactus room, the path goes outside. On a normal day, you get to meander through the Japanese garden and stop for several minutes to visit with the pond fish. Or at least that's Mila's plot. She runs across the bridge a few times, looks for the fish that was injured, and checks to see if there are any new baby fish. I know we know the answer to that, at least at this time of the year, but whatever. It's Mila's thing.

Except, it snowed a bunch Saturday night and Sunday morning. The paths weren't clear through the Japanese Garden, so the whole area was blocked off.

Mila, with the Phipps employee in tow, BURST INTO TEARS. Like, sobbing. "BUT I NEED TO SEE THE FISH ... WAAAAH." She was very dramatic and acted like she wasn't there literally two weeks ago. So much sadness. Because FISH.

Let's all remember that we have similar fish in our pond in our very own backyard. Mila is obsessed with them as well, but it's not like her only chance to see fish is at Phipps on that one random Sunday where we're free to stop by. AND YET. She carried on with her sadness for a very long time - all the way through the Train Room and most of the way through the Cuba stuff and wow. That kid knows how to cling to misery.

The poor Phipps employee had to listen to the whole thing and she clearly doesn't have a Mila of her very own at the moment, because she legit felt bad for the kid. I was all, "Get over it," but the stranger was all, "Oh, you're so sweet. You poor thing. I am so sorry," and so on. She apologized on behalf of Phipps a dozen times.

Not that it mattered. Mila was all in on holding the grudge.

Today, a full day later, Mila burst into my office to ask a very important question. "Mom, do you think it was that woman's fault I didn't get to visit the fish yesterday?" Because if so, I'm going to need her address."

Look out, woman!

Day Three Hundred Eighteen

At some point in time, Alexis fell deep for coffee. She has worked her way through every single item on the Starbucks menu and then some. In fact, I am no longer willing to place her order because she has exceeded the quantity of substitutions that I'm willing to make. There's soy and decaf and extra hot and blah, blah, blah. She is one of THOSE people.

Which means that her birthday cupcakes needed to be mocha. They weren't quite as ridiculous as her usual order as of late, but they were REALLY good.

AND LOOK AT THE TINY MUSHROOMS.

They're made out of fondant, by the way. A little fondant and a toothpick and they were ridiculously easy. I personally hate fondant because if I want to eat pure sugar, I'll pull out a spoon and a tub of sugar and just go with it. Turning it into the consistency of Play-Doh does not make it better.

ANYWAY. Fondant is disgusting, but it makes for easy decorations. A tiny little frog with candy eyes, a few mushrooms, and Alexis ended up with cupcakes that she loved.

Java Cupcakes

(makes 40 mini cupcakes or 12 full-size cupcakes)
 

1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup instant coffee
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and throw cupcake liners in a pan.

2. Place the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, instant coffee, and salt in a large bowl. Stir it all up with a whisk.

3. Add the water, butter, vinegar, and vanilla. Stir with a fork until the chunks are gone. It took me about two minutes.

4. Place the cake mix in your cupcake liners, filling each one about 2/3 of the way.

5. Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 22 minutes for mini cupcakes or 25 minutes for full-sized cupcakes.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Icing

1 8-oz package cream cheese, softened
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder

1. Throw it all in a mixing bowl. Mix it at medium speed until well-blended.

2. Tah-dah!