LELLOW CAR!

The kid has a favorite color--yellow. I know yellow is her favorite color because she endlessly points out things that are yellow, especially yellow cars. As we drive down the road, she joyously yells "LELLOW CAR!" each time she spots one of the little blobs of sunshine on wheels. I don't know how this skill can be turned into gainful employment, but I'm sure if it can be done, Alexis will find her way there.

Probably about two weeks ago, I started thinking this whole LELLOW CAR! thing seemed pretty fun, so I joined in. It didn't take long for my competitive spirit to rear its ugly head. I decided I should try to beat the kid at her own game. I tried to find the yellow cars before she could. As I don't have my own giant head blocking my view out the front window, I sort of had an advantage. So, I beat her to the LELLOW CAR! punch quite a bit. I may have even rubbed in a few times by yelling "Ha! I beat you!" and "You're too slow!" a few times.

I was the LELLOW CAR! Master, and dang proud of it.

Then, suddenly, I wasn't.

I couldn't figure out what happened, but suddenly the kid was managing to yell LELLOW CAR! before I could even catch a glimpse of moving sunshine.

I blamed the fact that I was, you know, DRIVING, and maybe paying a bit more attention to signs, cars making illegal turns in front of me, SUVs trying to run me off the road, making sure I sort of kind of but not really obeyed the speed limit, etc. You know, the things that I should have been doing instead of playing LELLOW CAR!

Admittedly, it annoyed me that I was losing the LELLOW CAR! game. I am, after all, an awesome mom who loves to feel superior to her two-year old by crushing her at every opportunity. If you check the dictionary for "competitive," you will find a picture of me.

Apparently, Alexis is also in that picture.

I figured out why I've been losing the LELLOW CAR! game lately. The little cheater has been LYING and yelling LELLOW CAR! when there was, in fact, no LELLOW CAR! anywhere to be found.

Alexis, it's on. You are so going down.

LELLOW CAR!

Yeah, What They Mowed

(We actually thought about buying that property. I'm glad the owners decided to make good use of it while it's still on the market.)

When Worlds Collide

Lately I've made it a habit to take Alexis to the park after work so that she can expend some energy flying up and down a slide instead of blazing a path of destruction through my living room. If I'm short on time, I go to a really nearby park that has a pretty decent little setup going on. So decent, in fact, that many of the neighborhood teens think it's a great place to hang out. I'm pretty sure their attraction to it has less to do with the Clifford slide and more to do with the thick woods that are probably just perfect for a beer hole.

Side note: As a former North Dakotan who knew nothing of what kids do in the woods, I had no clue about this whole beer hole phenomenon until very recently. I was schooled by a co-worker who told me that Burgh teens dig holes in the woods for use as beer/cash exchange drop-off points. Do you hear that Alexis? I KNOW ABOUT THE BEER HOLES. Don't even think about trying it.

Anyway, today there was a whole cluster of angst-ridden teens hanging out under a picnic pavilion a few feet from the slides. To my right was my Pebbles ponytail wearing toddler saying things like:

"Ook, Mommy!"

"I slide fast!"

"HI, MOMMY!"

"I want hug!"

To my left, the lone girl amongst the five boys was saying things like:

"My Mom is such a bitch."

"She never catches me when I lie."

"She's so stupid."

"I hate my Mom."

Could y'all do me a favor and please shoot me before my toddler turns into that?

By the way, there is a new post up over at Burgh Mom.