Today's Forecast: Windy with a Chance of Daffodils

Talking Helper Monkey for Sale

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when taking the Toddler with me to go grocery shopping was sort of like like taking a rabid spider monkey who had never been out of a 3x3 cage to the grocery store, except I do believe I would have an easier time keeping a monkey happy and under control. When I started my current job, I started having the ability to run to the grocery store during lunch, so I all but eliminated lengthy jaunts through the store with the Toddler in tow. A couple of quick trips during the week was enough for us to get by. Life was good.

Last week I slacked on my quick runs to the store. As a result, we were in extremely desperate need of food. Since I was too busy to take a lunch break at work today, I had to go after work. And? I had to take the Toddler with me. I learned a very valuable lesson very quickly.

She has outgrown the spider monkey phase.

In fact? It was almost fun grocery shopping with her today. She might have even been helpful. Well, if I were incapable of seeing whatever was right in front of my face, she would have been helpful.

"Ook, mommy! Cereal!"

"Need gogur, please!" (That's Toddlerese for "Buy me some damn yogurt and nobody gets hurt.")

"Ders cheese!"

"Eggs!"

"DORA!" (Y'know, Dora is in EVERY freakin' grocery aisle now. There are Dora raisins, people. Seriously.)

"Ook, bread!"

"Yay! Beans!"

"Ook! Doggy teats!" (My Toddlerese dictionary says that means "Meg and Jasmine have requested that you pretty please with sugar on top buy some dog treats.")

Anyway, about halfway around the store, I began to ponder how much money I could make by renting out her services. There's lots of people in this world with bad vision. They could most certainly benefit from having a helper monkey yelling out food products while they shop. If I were to open up a training center for toddlers to learn to be talking helper monkeys, surely I could end up rich.

Then, of course, the game changed. Instead of shouting out every food item she could find, the Toddler started to say something entirely different. Over. And over. And over.

"You're gonna get it."

I don't know what I'm gonna get, but I think the vision-impaired people of the world might be a bit frightened of the possibilities.

(I know the quality of that photo isn't great, but I still big pink puffy heart it.)

REMINDER: The contest is still running, and the rules changed a bit. Leave a comment on the contest post about anything, and you'll be entered to win. If you're feeling froggy, try and figure out what feelings Alexis mentions in the video, leave your answer in the comments, and win an even better prize. You don't have to be a blogger to win (Jill, I'm talking to you. Seriously.) and you can enter as many times as you want.

I'm Feeling Contest-ic!

I am SHOCKED at how many of you commented on yesterday's video of Alexis singing, especially the number of you that commented that you had NO IDEA what she was saying. Really? You don't all speak fluent Toddler? I'm sort of sad for you. After all, toddlers say all the best stuff.



Anyhoo, I'm taking a little pity on your confused souls. The video shows her singing two different songs. The first one is "In a House." Here are the real lyrics:



In a house in a home there are

mothers and fathers

sisters and brothers

And there’s me me me



In a house in a home there are

sons and daughters

grandmothers grandfathers

And there’s me me me



I have a family full of people who love me

People who love me

They take care of me

And I know my family is unlike any other

Your family’s made for you

And mine is made for me



In a house in a home there are

aunties and uncles

cousins and cousins

And there’s me me me



In a house in a home there are

nieces nephews

and family and friends

And then there’s me me me



I have a family full of people who love me

People who love me

They take care of me

And I know my family is unlike any other



Your family’s made for you

And mine is made for me



My puppy is nicer to me than my sister

My goldfish is quiet my kittens are cleaner

I think there’s a good chance that she’ll be my best friend someday

Let’s wait and see see see



In a house in a home there are

mothers and fathers

sisters and brothers

And there’s me me me

And then there’s me me me



Now let me whip out my Official Translator Crown that Kent State bestowed upon me back when I graduated college. Sure, the crown says Official Spanish Translator (in fun little jewels, I might add), but that doesn't mean I can't translate a little Toddlerese from time-to-time. Alexis is singing:



In a house in a home

there's sons and daughters

mothers and fathers

And there's me me me.



In a house, in a home

there's sisters and brothers,

sisters and brothers

and there's me me me



In a family there's people that love me

people that love me

they take care of me



In a house in a home

there's sons and there's daughters

there's brothers and sisters

And there's me, me, me.



Then she goes into a whole bunch of repeating the same lines intermixed with some Toddlerese that I haven't learned yet. Somewhere in there she throws in a "there's grandmas and grandfathers," but mostly she just keeps repeating the same couple of lines about brothers and sisters. She might be trying to send some sort of subliminal message. I'm not sure since I have my hands over my ears and am screaming "LA, LA, LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."



After that she goes into her current favorite song, "Feelings." The gist of the song goes:



What are you feeling

What are you feeling

Don’t keep it bottled up inside

Try try try

Try to tell me what’s inside –side –side

Don’t keep it bottled up inside

Try try try

And tell me what’s inside



Do you feel EXCITED

(Weeeee)

Do you feel EXCITED

I’m so EXCITED



And it repeats over and over, mentioning a new kind of thing that you can feel in each stanza.



Here's the thing: I count six distinct feelings/emotions in the video. Six. If you think you can figure out what they are, there's a little something in it for you. While I'm not telling you what the prize is right now, I will say the value will be around $25, so we're not talking crappy peanuts you would get at a Pirates game, but rather some kind of decent peanuts that you might find while watching the Yankees.



In the comments, list the six 'feelings' that Alexis sings about in the video. If more than one person correctly ascertains the answer then I'll do a random drawing of those who got it correct. You can enter as many times as you like and the deadline is next Friday, April 4th at midnight. I, as the judge, declare my list of six the "correct" answer, so don't even think about trying to argue with me if your list ends up not matching mine. Deal?



OK, go!







Updated to add: Since so many whiners are blaming their computers for their inability to translate Toddlerese, I'm adding a second prize to the game. First prize has to get all six feelings. Second prize will be random from all comments, even if you don't take a stab at deciphering the lyrics.