In No Way Proving My Point

Fine.



She does sing better than me.



Whatever.



At least I know how to say 'love' correctly. "Peepo who nuv me." Heh.



(If you are using a Reader, there is a video here.)





(I could be nice and tell you what she's singing, but that seems like it would require a little bit of effort. Anybody who has listened to Signing Time 'In a House' and 'Feelings' 18,000 times will know both songs right away.)

Notes to the Girls

Dear Alexis,

There's something that I haven't told you because I don't think it's my place to discourage you from doing something you love, even if you are pretty bad at it. So earlier today when you screamed, "NO, STOP! NO! NO! NO!" at me when I started singing along with your beloved Signing Time music, I was not amused. You, my dear, suck at singing just as much as I do. Obviously, though, I am much nicer than you. Meanie face.

Love,
You're Out of Tune but Totally in Touch Mom

****************************************************

Dear Jasmine,

Why? Really, why? You used to be the "Good Dog." I could leave a plate of food on the floor and you wouldn't touch it because you were so well trained and knew what you were and were not allowed to do. So why the gummy bear are you now getting into the trash every day? Those cans have been accessible for your entire life. Why all of a sudden do you need to knock them over and inspect the contents every day? KNOCK IT OFF.

Love,
The Woman Who is Going to Beat Your Ass if You Don't Quit

***************************************************

Dear Meg,

It's not YOUR couch. Quit acting like it is.

Love,
The Woman Who WILL Sit on the Couch Without a Dog Growling at Her

This Can't Be Good

Take a look at this photo:

That? Is the aftermath of Alexis sorting through a few dozen stuffed animals then selecting one to tuck into her bed. I don't think it's coincidence that she selected the Toddler-sized bunny. I do believe the child is already figuring out how to make it look like she's in her bed when she's really riding around in the backseat of some punk's beat-up Dodge Neon.

Anybody know where I can buy some prison bars to install on the windows?

Note to Alexis: I think it's only fair to warn you that I hold a PhD in Sneaking Out and was the Professor of Staying Out All Night 101. You can't come up with a trick that I don't know. Save yourself a hella lot trouble and don't bother trying. Trust me.