I Feel a Battle Brewing, Part 2

So, how did Project I Will Not Be Broken go, you wonder? Well, Alexis was in her own little bed between the hours of 9:00 pm and 5:00 am. In fact, she didn't wind up in our bed until 5:07.

For the record, Mr. Husband gets up at 5:20. I get up at 6:20. When the screaming started at 5:07, I knew my choices were to get up and be up for the rest of the day, or bring her back to bed with me and hope she fell asleep in less than 13 minutes. I chose the latter and she cooperated. I consider that part of the story to be the successful part.

What was not successful was what happened between 9 and 5. There was only one awakening, but boy, oh boy, it was a doozy. At precisely 12:04 am, Not-Sleeping Beauty began the yelling.

"Moooooooooommy"

"Moooooooooommy"

"MOOOOOOOOOOMMY"

I ignored her. It's really not that hard to do when you know there is absolutely nothing wrong with your child. Besides, I've been down this path before. I mentioned yesterday that Alexis occasionally hits a phase where she thinks she needs to see me in the middle of the night. It has always been easy to cure: Ignore her. She will fuss for no more than 20 minutes, go to sleep, and the phase will pass for at least a month. It's really just a matter of having my wits about me enough to know that she should be ignored.

Last night 20 minutes turned into 30 minutes. That turned into 40 minutes. Then 50. Then 60. Alexis carried on and on and on, alternating between yelling the boss's official title and calling for her Daddy. Daddy, of course, slept through the whole thing. Never heard a single peep. I even hurled a Bulldog at him at one point (OK, it was more like a shove of her rump in hopes that she would head in his general direction), but that backfired when she came trumbling back to me and plopped down on my stomach.

All the while, I stayed in my cozy bed and buried my head under a pillow. Until I heard, "Mommy, I need my pants."

THAT got me out of bed instantly. As any of you that have provided shelter to strippers know, needing pants might very well be Toddler-speak for "I'm not wearing a diaper and I'm going to drop a deuce right here in my bed just so you won't get another millisecond of sleep for the rest of the night!"

Fortunately, she really had just lost her pants. I would guess that she was trying to climb out of her crib, which I like to call Sona (if you get that reference, you and I really can be bestest friends forever, just so long as you remember that Wentworth is MINE ALL MINE I SAW HIM FIRST HE'S MINE). She cannot break out of that crib no matter how hard she tries, but all of her attempts seemed to have caused her flannel Dora bottoms to sink to the depths of her floor.

Alexis' room is the coldest place in our entire house. If you ever need to chill a frosty beverage, skip the fridge and freezer, head straight to her room where I can guarantee it will be frozen in no time. Walking on her floor is like walking on a sheet of ice all year round. I've never quite figured out what the problem is back there, but I have figured out that you can't just pick a pair of pajama bottoms up off the floor and stick them on the Toddler unless you want her to politely inform you that her little ham hocks are a wee bit chilly. So I snagged the pants, I snagged the Toddler, and together we all sat down in the chair. By the time her pants were warmed up enough to put them on, Alexis was fast asleep in my arms.

Total amount of time that I know I was awake: 2 hours 13 minutes.

So tonight, my dear Alexis, we will fight the battle once again. I know that giving in right now will result in a Toddler trying to permanently move into my bed, so I will not be broken.

We shall see who is more stubborn once and for all.

I Feel a Battle Brewing

I kind of feel guilty complaining about this as I know my sister-in-law, Melanie (a daily reader of my mind-numbing dribble), is at this very moment working on bringing another kid into the family. She and Brian are about to embark on the joy that is complete and utter lack of sleep thanks to a newborn.

But.

Alexis, for the love of God, WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME SLEEP?

She's nearly two years old, and yet, and YET, she still randomly gets the idea in her little head that she needs to see me in the middle of the night.

This time it's my own fault.

While we were Indy, she slept with me. She would have been content to sleep in a pack-n-play, but I was far too lazy to go to the hotel's front desk and request one. Plus, I wasn't too worried about it. I knew she would happily return to her crib when we got back, and she did. For the first night.

The next night she fell asleep in the car when we were on our way home. Mr. Husband brought her in the house and set her on our bed. For whatever reason, she stayed there for the entire night.

The next night, Mr. Husband wanted to sleep with her. Fine. Whatever.

The next night, she woke up at 2:00 and I was too out of it to fight with her, so I brought her back to our bed.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. More times than I want to admit. Regardless, I created a pattern and I knew there would be payback.

So, yesterday Not-Sleeping Beauty decided she would skip her nap. That led to her requesting to go to bed early (Yes, she asks to go to bed. As in she says, "Sleep, please" EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. That is why I am willing to forgive a night waking every now and then.). I figured that since she had gone to bed early, I would go to bed early. If she woke in the middle of the night, we would fight about it.

So 10:00 rolled around and she woke up for the first time.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!"

I went into her room (having JUST gone to bed myself, mind you), gave her a hug, told her to go back to sleep, and went on with my bad self. She went back to sleep a few minutes later and everybody was happy.

At 12:30 I heard "Mooooommy! Moooooommy! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!" I got up, turned on her lullaby CD, told her to go back to sleep, and closed the doors. She kept yelling. And crying. And yelling. Just as I was beginning to wonder why exactly she only ever yearns for me at night, she changed things up a bit.

"Daaaaaaaaddy!"

I have to admit, that made me smile. Share the love, kid. Share the love. Of course, Mr. Husband slept through all of the drama. That is, he slept through it all for about 25 minutes. When he finally sat up in bed, I droned, "She's fine."

He replied, "OK" and went back to sleep. (BTW, Honey, I hate you for having the ability to sleep through a train going through the house. I mean, I love you for many reasons, but your ability to sleep through screaming babies makes me want to hurl Bulldogs at you.)

Alexis alternated between requesting my presence and her Dad's presence for a solid hour. At that point, I finally stormed back to her room and picked her up. Immediate silence. Two minutes later, bratty baby snores. So I put her back down in her crib and attempted to go back to sleep.

4:00: "MOOOOOOOOOMMY!" At that point, I gave up and brought her back to bed with me. I needed ten minutes of uninterrupted sleep if I was going to be even slightly pleasant today (which, for the record, I'm not).

Tonight, Alexis, it's on. I will not be broken. You will not leave your crib between the hours of 9:00 pm and 5:00 am. PERIOD.

Alexis' 2007 Performance Appraisal

Goal: Learn to walk.
Performance: Alexis began to display mastery of the skill of walking at 13 months and has since proven that she is an experienced and proficient walker.
2008 Goal: Learn to run without waving arms wildly and wagging butt like a dog.

Goal: Grow tall enough to reach the phone.
Performance: Not only did Alexis grow tall enough to reach her phone, she grew tall enough to reach every door handle, anything left on the edge of the kitchen counter, and many items that were best left out of her grubby little hands.
2008 Goal: Stop growing up already.

Goal: Learn to prepare own food so as to avoid whatever food Mom is serving, even if you like you like what's for dinner.
Performance: Alexis has not yet mastered culinary preparation. She is able to acquire crackers and bananas without assistance, but needs to add other foods to her self-serve repertoire. Food found on the floor does not qualify in this category.
2008 Goal: Start making dinner for the whole family. We like macaroni and cheese.

Goal: Make birthday cake disappear, but don't actually eat any of it.
Performance: Goal achieved.
2008 Goal: Try consuming a bite or two of birthday cake.

Goal: Grow some hair.
Performance: Alexis is currently demonstrating her Pittsburgh pride by sporting a mullet, but there is more party in the back than before.
2008 Goal: Grow some hair on top of her head.

Goal: Meet Mickey Mouse.
Performance: While Alexis did make a trip to Walt Disney World, she was too busy posing for pictures by the front gates to spend any time with the Big Cheese.
2008 Goal: Try to convince parents to make a return trip to Walt Disney World for the purpose of meeting Mickey Mouse.

Goal: Resemble Mom just a tiny bit.
Performance: This is one of Alexis' weakest areas. She continues to look exactly like her Father and absolutely nothing like her mother. However, she is beginning to show indications that she may have inherited Mom's fine, scraggly, mouse-brown hair.
2008 Goal: Resemble Mom just a tiny bit (seriously, kid, people think I kidnapped you or something).

Goal: Try some new foods.
Performance: Alexis excels in this area. She will try anything once, but that is not to say that she won't spit something back out and hand it to Mommy if she doesn't like it.
2008 Goal: Try some new foods other than cat and stop handing half-chewed morsels to Mommy.

Goal: Lend a hand around the house.
Performance: Alexis has been successful in contributing to the overall efficiency of the house by throwing trash in the garbage upon request, watering the garden, testing the dog water for cleanliness, bathing the dog, sweeping the deck, and vacuuming.
2008 Goal: Add dusting and emptying the dishwasher to current list of chores.

Goal: Melt Mom's heart with just a glance.
Performance: Achieved every single day.
2008 Goal: Keep up the good work.