Things I've Learned in the Past Week

- If you thought it was a wee bit embarrassing when your Toddler screams "Mommy potty" while using a public restroom, it will be exponentially more embarrassing when she yells "Mommy pooping" and someone a few stalls down, as if on cue, unleashes some sounds that you didn't know could come out of a human being. And then everyone sees you with the Toddler at the sink and thinks you are the disgusting person.

- You should never, ever step on the crack between an elevator and the floor outside. Instead, grasp tightly onto the wall, as if hugging it, and carefully step as far as you can across the threshold. Don't worry about the door closing because Mommy will hold it, thus irritating all other elevator passengers.

- If you thought it was gross when your Toddler went digging for buried treasure in her ear then promptly stuck the shovel/finger in her mouth, wait a few minutes. She will wait until you've forgotten all about the incident, start sticking her tongue out at you in hopes that you will follow suit and then will swipe her nasty little earwax-covered finger down your tongue. Mmmm . . . I know you're all jealous you didn't get some of that.

- Bulldogs do not like to wear coats, but they will if it means they can stay warm.

- Restaurants do not give out purple crayons. I know this because I save all the crayons Alexis gets when we eat out and stuff them in my purse for future use. (The girl LOVES to color.) After months of doing this, we still don't have a purple. I realized it yesterday when I really needed purple to finish my pretty picture.

- It's not a good idea to allow your Toddler to fall asleep in the car then wake her up when you get to the hotel. If you do it four nights in a row, she'll think that she's supposed to wake up in the middle of the night and will continue to do it long after you return home.

- It's really fun to run through the halls of a hotel. It's even more fun to yell while you run through the halls. Mommy will join in because if you're going to pay to be somewhere, you might as well have as much fun as possible doing it.

- Whatever this thing is that Alexis has caught, it's kicking her little butt. If she's not fever free all day tomorrow, she's going to have to go to the doctor. Germs suck.

- You can read Ten Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed as many times as you want, discussing the dangers of jumping on a bed each time; it won't make a difference. When you put cousins together, they will jump on the bed. Repeatedly. At least none of these Monkeys fell off the bed:

(Thanks, Ashlee, for the Monkey photos!)

Snap, Snap, Giggle, Splash

We had a plan. It was a good one, too. Despite the fact that I really should have gone to work today (since you sort of have to be there to quit), Daddy and I both took the day off with full intentions of going all Clark Griswold in the yard. I mean, c'mon, we could have stayed in Indianapolis another day, but came back anyway. For no other reason but to hang pretty little Christmas lights. But NO, why would the universe want to cooperate with that plan? It hasn't cooperated with us for the past two weekends, why start now?

If you've been assaulting your senses with the Monday Night football game* then you might have an inkling of what has been going on in Pittsburgh all day. Heinz Field isn't the only place that has gotten so much rain that I fully expect to see Noah's Ark come floating through any second. Oh no, our yard is flooded like nothing I have seen since Hurricane Ivan wreaked havoc in this area. There's something about electricity, water, ladders, and roofs that don't seem to quite add up to safe, so we were blocked once again from hanging the lights. I am not amused. At this point I need some really cold weather to freeze the ground. Otherwise, I'm going to have to go mudding.

The only productive things to happen all day is that we managed to finish some Christmas shopping, I wrapped a bunch of presents, and Alexis discovered the joy that is dancing on bubble wrap.

*Note to ESPN--Would you please find some half decent announcers? Please? I have had to mute the TV to prevent my ears from bleeding any more than they already have. Oh, and Tony--if you are trying to be funny, you are failing miserably. SHOOSH!

Obligatory "We're Home" Post

Since our entire family is mostly inept at making phone calls, all relatives can consider themselves informed that we survived the drive home. And I only wanted to throw the dogs out the window one time, so that should tell you it was a pretty good drive home. But then again, that's what happens when I'm able to convince my husband that we should stop in Columbus and shop for a while. A little mall action always makes things better, especially when Cinnabon is involved.

Speaking of better, if anybody managed to get a photo of all the grandkids not making funny faces, please send it to me. You just know we will never get them all in the same place at the same time again and this photo isn't exactly 8x10 material. But it is pretty humerous :-)