If the Shirt Fits

And with that, I'm off to a Pens game. Daddy and Alexis will be holding down the fort all by their lonesome selves tonight. Go Sydney!

When What You Want Involves Needles and Glitter, Go For It

I have finally recovered from Hurricane Alexis, so let me just tell you about our trip to Joanne's. We headed there for some really exciting yarn so that I could continue working on Alexis' sweater. I wanted to evolve into one of those really cool knitting people that has multiple projects going on, so I also needed some yarn for a new blanket.

Buying yarn for a blanket is, of course, no small undertaking. There was much staring and pondering, perusing and debating to be done before making a decision. In order to buy myself some time for this major life decision, I started asking Alexis to find something yellow, something blue, something red, etc. It turns out she's not color blind so we've been practicing colors. It was a genius plan that was proceeding quite nicely. Until the Interruption.

The Interruption was a little boy of about eight or nine years of age. While I fondled some lovely blue/purple yarn, Alexis was hunting for yellow. The Interruption piped in, "I can find something yellow!" Because I'm nice, I responded to him with a friendly, "That's great! But you're not the one I need to try to keep busy while I shop. Thank you, anyway!" Then the little bugger proceeded to start running all over, grabbing yellow yarn and handing it to Alexis. Undeterred, I helped her return all of the skeins of yarn and went back to fondle some red yarn. Back came the Interruption. Lather, rinse, repeat (this time with purple). All the while, Out Loud Me was being all friendly and nice. Silent Me was trying to figure out where the kid's Mom was and wondering why I had been promoted to Store Babysitter.

The Interruption's Mom finally appeared about three colors later, and he quickly lost interest in us. I wiped the sweat from my brow and resumed trying to make my major life decision. All the while, I was subjected to a loud conversation between the Interruption and his previously absent Mom. It seemed the Interruption was in yarnland because he wanted to knit a scarf. I'll admit, this seemed a bit odd to me. I don't think I've ever known a little boy that wanted to partake in an activity that has traditionally been considered an old lady's hobby (And, yes, that does make me an old lady. What of it?). But hey, I'm all for a little blurring of gender roles so I was pleased to hear the Mom tell him to go ahead and pick out some yarn. When he said he wanted something glittery, I successfully forced my little eyes to resist the urge to do roly poly actions. Hey, if the kid likes shiny, glittery things, then by all means, let the kid knit a shiny, glittery scarf!

But then the Mom proceeded to tell the Interruption, and I quote, "Knitting is an excellent way to develop your manual dexterity. That will help you" blah, blah, blah, blah, blappity, blah lots of big words for things that 8-year olds don't much care about. What the heck? Since when does a kid learn to do something because it's good for developing manual dexterity? Why can't the kid learn to knit JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO?

Somebody Woke Up Feeling Busy

So far today, Alexis has:

- Emptied her closet of every single article of clothing and spread said articles of clothing all over our upstairs. She can now perform an emergency wardrobe change just about anywhere.

- Dumped a bottle of Dora bubble bath all over the bathroom floor. (Note to makers of Dora bubble bath: Snap top lids are good. Screw off lids are bad. Very bad. I'm not buying any more Dora bubble bath until you switch. Ask Starbucks just how good I am at keeping my boycotting promises.)

- Carried precisely 22 bottles of water from the ledge in the kitchen to the dining room table. Since I was thirsty, I only made her carry 21 of them back.

- Colored part of the living room floor a lovely shade of orange. She then pretended to be Mr. Clean and scrubbed the orange floor until it looked like maple wood again.

- Relocated every item in the bathroom drawer to her crib. Just in case she needs some feminine hygiene products later tonight, I guess.

- Climbed on top of the dining room table and tried to swing from the chandelier. I'm so very sorry to report that she wasn't tall enough to get a good grip. But she did give it her best shot.

- Dumped an entire bag of fish food all over the kitchen floor, picked it up, and dumped it out again, all the while singing, "If fishy hungry! The fishy hungry!" to the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It.

- Poured the dog food out of the dog food bowls and onto the kitchen floor then filled the bowls with the fish food. By the time she was done, the dog food was cleaned up and in the fish food bag. No harm done, I'm sure Meg will be just as willing to eat fish food as she is everything else that fits in her mouth.

And THAT my friends, takes us up to lunchtime. I would tell you about our adventure at the craft store, but I think I need a nap.