Random is Fun!

1. I have graduated to Mummy status. It's not quite Mommy, but I've still decided to start allowing olives again. I am the nicest Mummy of all time, I know.

2. When I put Alexis to bed, she's all "I would like to go to sleep now, please." When Daddy tries to put her to bed, it's "Well the $#%^ do you think you're doing? Hold me! Where's Mommy? I HATE YOU! Where's Mommy?" I had a work event this evening, and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces from the calamity that is Alexis + Daddy alone at bedtime.

3. A certain little narcissitic one-year old was looking at pictures and videos of herself on the computer earlier today and came across this oldie. There are about ten more animals in that book (whose pages she didn't land on that day) and she knows the sign for every single one. I'm not proud or anything.

Best Phone Call Ever

I still hate phones, but daycare just called me and I must admit, I'm so glad they did. For that call was the most amusing of amusing calls of all time.

Me: Hello? (Much hesitation in voice because wise and cherished caller ID already warned me it was daycare -- that can't be good.)

Daycare Owner Lady: Hi Burgh Baby's Mom. It's Daycare Owner Lady. Nothing is wrong with your baby.

Me: OK. (Much confusion in voice because if she's not sick, then this really can't be good--did she beat somebody up for touching her Play-Doh?)

Daycare Owner Lady: Can you pick Lexie up by 5:00 today? We're calling everybody because babies are throwing up all over teachers and teachers are a mess and we need to close early so that we can clean up and can you pick her up by 5:00?

Me: No problem (Still confused--I always pick her up before 5:00. Is there some sort of traffic disaster in my future that will prevent me from driving 11 miles in under 1.5 hours? Is there? Because if so, I'm leaving now. Oh and there's a little annoyance in my voice as well because I'm thinking "Freakin' frackin' don't call my kid 'Lexie' for goodness sake, you can call her Lex, Alex, Ali, Kinnley, A. Mac, or Poopsy for all I care, just don't call her Lexie. Grr.")

Daycare Owner Lady: Oh, good because it's really just such a mess here and wow the teachers are really just a mess and kids are throwing up all over the place and . . . (There was more, but my little brain lost the ability to focus on the run-on sentence and promptly shut down.)

Awesome, for -oh- so many reasons.

1. If I have to get puked on, everyone should get puked on. Yay!
2. Nobody bothered to tell me this thing was going around daycare last week. So take that! teachers and Daycare Owner Lady who didn't think it would be appropriate to tell me the flu was making the rounds. It circled right back to you, now didn't it?
3. That was the first time Daycare Owner Lady called and I actually got more than three words in. I consider that a personal victory.
4. My kid is not one of the sick ones. Oh wait, that's because she already had it. Darn.
5. The call came at 11:00 am. That's lunch time at daycare. Picture the scene as 50 maybe 60 kids all sit down to eat lunch then they start to get sick, one after the other. While I really do feel bad for the kids, that is still an awesome little image in my head.
6. There will likely be lots of absences at daycare tomorrow. Yay! More attention for Alexis!

Back Away from the Play-Doh and Nobody Gets Hurt

Daycare sends a report card home with Alexis everyday that outlines her activities, eating, etc. About a month ago, I started to see "Play-Doh" under activities along with some comment in the margin such as "loved it!" or "really enjoyed!" The first time I thought they were a bunch of crazy people for intentionally introducing 20 kids under the age of four to Play-Doh. The next time I saw it I wondered if Alexis perhaps was eating the Play-Doh and that was why she liked it so much. The third time I asked and was told that the kid "love, love, loves Play-Doh!" So I bought her some. And it sat around for a week or two collecting dust because I didn't feel like putting myself through the level of supervision that Play-Doh and an 18-month old requires.

Today, I got brave. I cleared a place on the easy-to-clean wood floors and broke out the red and blue Play-Doh. Alexis and I discussed the pretty colors for a few minutes then I tried to show her how to squish it. Wrong answer. I was not supposed to squish the Play-Doh. Once she stopped lecturing me, I noticed that the point of the game seemed to be to just hold the stuff in both hands and look around to make sure that no one was trying to take it from you. When a cat had the audacity to try to sniff the Play-Doh, she promptly (and loudly) informed him to BACK AWAY FROM THE PLAY-DOH. Then she set up a barricade, creating a ten-foot barrier between herself, the Play-Doh, and the rest of the world. Jasmine tried to cross the barricade and is now cowering in the corner, shaking with fear.

At some point in time, I'm going to have to cross into enemy territory and try to separate the Play-Doh from it's guardian. If you don't hear from me for a few days, please send in reinforcements. Maybe try calling daycare, because obviously they have a very different definition for "loves it" than I do.