Salted Caramel Apple Bars

IT'S APPLE ORCHARD TIME!

Or at least it will be any minute now. I know one local orchard is opening up for apple picking at the end of the month, which means I will be buried in all of the apples at the end of the month. Mila super likes picking them. I super like finding ways to use them.

Like this.

Salted Caramel Apple Bars

Crust
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/4 granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour

Apple Filling
2 large apples, thinly sliced (the peeling thing doesn't seem to matter)
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon all ground nutmeg

Streusel Topping
1/2 cup quick oats
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, cold and cubed
Caramel sauce (Recipe here or just use ice cream topping. I'm not judging your decisions in this matter.)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a 8" pan with foil. Yes, this matters. This stuff sticks, so life is easier if you use foil and can just lift it out.

2. Make the crust. Add the sugar, vanilla, salt, and flour to the melted butter and stir until well combined.

3. Press the crust in the bottom of your pan.

4. Bake for 10 minutes, or however long it takes for you to make the other parts of this masterpiece. (Yes, this is a variance from the original recipe. I accidentally learned that it doesn't matter if you use a bit higher temperature, so I'm rolling with it.)

5. While the crust is baking, toss the sliced apples, flour, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a large bowl until the apples are well-coated. Set aside.

6. Make the streudel topping stuff by combining the oats, sugar, cinammon, flour, and butter in a large bowl. The butter needs to stay a little chunky, so mesh the ingredients together using your hands.

7. Layer the apples on top of the cooked crust. Press them down until they're nice and level.

8. Layer the streusel on top of the apples.

9. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until the streusel looks slightly browned.

10. Allow the apple goodness to cool thoroughly before drizzling caramel over top.

11. Enjoy!

And Then

And then we went to Michigan.

Does it seem like I was driving two girls all over the country through the month of July? Because I was. We started with dance in Orlando, meandered to cheer in South Carolina, and then ... what's that? Mila? It was Mila's turn? In Michigan?

It was!

First of all, this whole thing was a strategic error on my part. Last year Mila was on a nice low level of cheer team and she was perfectly fine there. It was a team that doesn't leave town for competitions, which is fantastic. She then asked to do try-outs, not because she was like I WANT TO MOVE UP, but because she was like, TRY-OUTS SOUND FUN!!!!

She's weird like that.

Try-outs were fun, but then she went and managed to worm her way up a level, which landed her with a team that has a "Nationals." It's not the Big Kid Nationals, but rather a smaller one that's more local-ish. There are a bajillion teams there, but it's basically a way to have Nationals without asking families to sink a bunch of money into the ordeal.

Which, yay? It would be yay if it weren't A TOTALLY SEPARATE NATIONALS FROM ALEXIS'. I almost never have the luck of the girls needing to be in the same place in the same time. Two separate weeks in two separate states was not cool. It was my fault, though, because I should not have let Tiny go to try-outs.

ANYWAY.

I did, she went, she had fun. Her team didn't place, but that's not really the part that matters. Mila, for her part, did surprisingly well for someone who missed WAY too many practices. See also: that thing where she goes where her sister goes. It wasn't Mila's fault we were out of town too much. She mostly managed to catch up, but hopefully there are fewer scheduling conflicts next year so she knows more about what's going on.

The most notable thing from the weekend, however, was Alexis. Yes, Alexis. This is the first time in FOREVER that she hasn't had A Thing while we were on vacation. For years, vacations have revolved around her cheer and dance events, to the point that she's never been just plain chillin' on vacation. She did this time, even as she was nervous on behalf of Tiny. It was kind of hilarious watching her be like, "Oh, wait! I don't have to put makeup on! Or do my hair! Or pay attention to what I pack! Or wear anything specific!"

She should try just being a kid more often. It suits her.

Oreo Dip

Mila's love language is basically anything that includes sugar, but if it qualifies as "dirt," that's a whole other level of joy. Dirt Sundaes, Dirt Pie, Dirt Cupcakes ... she's in.

So I made her Dirt Dip.

I included ALL of the gummy worms because while Mila is here for the Oreos, she stays for the gummy worms. Like, she stays at the kitchen table and eats the Dirt Dip for an hour straight because it might just vanish into thin air if she takes her eyes off of it.

And perhaps she is right to worry because it is really good. And easy.

Dirt Dip

1 package cream cheese, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup heavy cream
1 package Oreo Thins (yes, Oreo Thins. They exist and I think they do so specifically for this dessert. They certainly aren't for snacking, what with their lack of cream filling)
1 small package gummy worms

1. Toss the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla into a large mixing bowl. Take your hand mixer, turn it to high, and give everything a good whirl until the sugar is well incorporated.

2. Slowly add the heavy cream while continuing to mix at high speed. Keep mixing until the mixture thickens and peaks begin to form.

3. Crush two rows of the cookies in the package of Oreo Thins. I do it by tossing them in a gallon freezer bag and smacking them with a garlic press, but you do you. No need to get super picky about this step - you just want chunks of Oreo.

4. Put aside about 3/4 cup of the crushed Oreos. Fold the rest into the cream cheese mixture.

5. Spread the cream cheese/Oreo goop in the bottom of a 9x9" pan. Grab the Oreo crumbs you set aside and sprinkle them all across the top. Toss the gummy worms on top of everything.

6. Refrigerate until you're ready to serve. The remaining row of Oreo Thins are great for scooping up the dip, but graham crackers, animal crackers, or anything in the general "sweet" cracker family will work.